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  • James 13:15 on April 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , objectification, , , , villain clichés   

    How a psychopath views you 

    One of the reasons I’m allowed here is the extent to which I am able to ‘reveal’ or illuminate the psychopathic condition through not only what I say but how I say it. Some posts, through their subject matter, will reveal more than others. That is not something which especially interests me, but since it’s important to someone, it is fair to say that this is probably one of those extra-revelatory posts.  

    People are resources to be used like any other. But they’re not all the same, they are individuals. I don’t need to label them in order to interact with them. All the same, for the people I come into contact with, I categorise them into four different groups based on their value to me. I say “I categorise them”, it’s not something I’m overly conscious of, but when I interact with a specific person I conceptualise and treat them based on their group. And like I said, I’m not talking about people’s objective value, just their value in relation to my needs and wants.

    So enough waffling already, what are the groups?

    • Useful – people to be used for something of value they have. They’re a pretty common type. Analogous with tools.
    • Entertainment – people with whom I interact for pleasure. Not too many at the minute, though obviously their number goes up and down as people come and go. Analogous with toys, and in some favourable cases, pets.
    • Threat – people who may cause problems for my wellbeing. The least common group by far.
    • Unimportant – people who have no value, either positive or negative, to me. Basically most people on the planet.

    One issue with this list is it could be argued that entertainment is just a more specific form of usefulness; the person’s utility lies in their entertainment value.  People whose entertainment value is very great may become my friends. I’ll have to talk about friends in another post.

    So which are you? Well, you’re reading this so I guess you’re helping to support one of my hobbies, which makes you a cause of my entertainment. On the other hand, most of you are silent readers and for all I know you’re not the same crowd from week to week, which would make the individual reader rather unimportant. Nevertheless, that status belies how I really feel about you who read my posts; I greatly value your continued interest in what I’ve got to say – why else would I write?

    Should you leave a comment, you’d certainly stand a good chance of an upgrade. And you’d be able to tell whether it worked from my reaction. If I reply, you’ve become entertainment in yourself. It doesn’t take much, just a comment that isn’t completely unintelligible or boring. Who knows, you may even share information so valuable that you become useful, for a while.

    You can of course be more than one thing at a time; people I make use of may also be people I like. It’s when you’re just the former but you think you’re the latter where problems are generated – for you. So if you had a really charming friend or lover who left you one day without a backward glance, and whom you now believe to be a psychopath, it was almost certainly the case that you were only being used for whatever your ‘friend’ or ‘lover’ wanted at the time. When they left, it was because they decided that – what is that phrase again? – your usefulness was at an end. Still, at least they didn’t snap you in half on their knee.

    Unimportant or not, your views are bound to interest someone. So leave a comment! 

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    • Human 14:40 on April 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for sharing! See reblog here: http://psychopathresistance.wordpress.com

      Liked by 1 person

    • James 14:46 on April 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry about that delay, folks. Comments are now open for business!

      Like

    • totallytea1 17:59 on April 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      LOL

      Liked by 1 person

    • Amaterasu Solar 16:29 on May 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      James, I note You give no regard to how We might classify You. [smile] On My scale, You are a source of perspective and One in whom I find amusement, as well. I wish You well, which perhaps is a wish for Others You don’t think to make? Anyway, thank You so much for Your perspective.

      Like

      • James 17:05 on May 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Yes, that is true, I hadn’t given other’s opinions any thought, nor do I wish anybody well (or ill). Empathy, huh! May I ask what you find amusing?

        You don’t need to thank me every time you speak to me.

        Like

        • Amaterasu Solar 17:31 on May 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I thank You because I appreciate very much that You have chosen to offer Your perspective. Was unsure whether hoping for the best for Others fell inside or outside empathy. I wish everyOne well, and discourage highly unEthical behavior choices.

          From the standpoint of watching You making Your case and following Your motive… It amuses Me. [shrug] [smile]

          Liked by 1 person

          • James 17:52 on May 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            So you think my case is laughable? 😀 What is my motive?

            Like

            • Amaterasu Solar 19:36 on May 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              Perhaps I should better have said “TRYING to follow Your motive.” [smile] I’m still working that out, James. [smile]

              Like

    • Grace 18:44 on May 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Your perspective is enlightening. It lifts the veil for those of us who have no idea why psychopaths behave as they do. It gives us knowledge we need to protect ourselves from being ” useful” to someone like you.

      Liked by 2 people

      • James 23:19 on May 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Glad to be of use to you, Grace 🙂

        May I suggest it’s not necessarily a bad thing to be useful. It means you have desirable assets: intelligence, wealth, beauty, expertise… the attention should be flattering. Doesn’t mean you have to meekly let yourself be used. If on the other hand the psychopath ignores you, it is likely the case there is nothing worthwhile about you.

        Like

        • Kodiak 16:25 on December 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

          Well, I’m late to this party (got here somehow through Quora). This is an interesting read. I’m intrigued how much I agree, as I’m rather the opposite of a psychopath. I’m a passionate, empathic artistic personality, but also logical and raised to esteem self-reliance and wisdom. I view my emotions as my best friends and worst enemies, and try to cultivate more in-between to cope. I’ve had to learn in most painful ways that the deep, life-affecting emotions towards humans need to be reserved for a small group of people that closely influence me. Though I care greatly about humankind and this earth, the general public deserves only my politeness and at times acts of kindness, until they’ve earned more.There’s nothing wrong with being useful, we should be a resource on this earth. An empathic person like myself can use the people around me without hurting them. It’s been in my interests to do more of that. I’m not hurting most people when they are useful to me, and there’s many ways others can use me without detriment. I can stand up for myself if it steers towards harmful. Even as a deep-feeling person, I cannot have deep, meaningful relationships with more than a small group of the humans around me, and can get hurt by not recognizing that. Frankly, I’m happy and more healthy to have learned this lesson, happy to be used when it takes nothing away from me, and happy to use others similarly. It’s not personal.

          Liked by 1 person

          • James 18:22 on December 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

            Thanks for your comment, Kodiak! It was interesting to read, no matter how late 🙂

            Like

    • Lisa 15:58 on June 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I have come into contact with a psychopath, been fooled for a short time, surprised them & confronted them in a public setting after they were spreading lies (no one could hear us but they could see the conflict). Then because of the rift between us and the fact we share some friends in common, the psychopath attempted several times to reconcile by appealing to the shared friends and talking about how unreasonable I was, but I refused (and some of the friends although they didn’t believe at first, now see my side of things when the psychopath discarded them and stopped giving them attention).

      I now treat that person like an inanimate object and ignore them (because it takes less energy, and I don’t want to give them any emotional hold on me) and go about my life, but I am now wondering how to prevent other people from being fooled by them. Spreading the truth about them seems the only way to go but I am loathe to sink to that level. I would guess I’m viewed as unimportant / a mild threat by the psychopath.

      What is the best course of action? I feel helpless to help other people.

      Liked by 1 person

      • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 16:27 on June 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Hi Lisa,
        We are not taught these dangers in school. It’s unfortunate you learned the hard way. For future protection against the 4 percent of the population who are not what they seem; learn the red flags, and suggest to other people that they “would benefit from learning these signs, especially in the case of Mr.X” Here is a list of habits- https://www.facebook.com/notes/psychopathy-genetics/how-to-spot-a-pro-social-psychopath/781795738538803

        Additional red flags: https://www.psychopathfree.com/content.php?212-30-Red-Flags

        Like

        • nowve666 22:12 on September 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          Hi, Tina. I’m puzzled about something. You are clearly among those who are anti-psychopath, But your user name is GeneticPsycho. Are you born with a psychopath brain wiring and just reject it through the power of will?

          Like

          • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 23:58 on September 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            I am not anti-psychopath. I simply don’t want them in policymaking positions. Psychopaths don’t follow their hearts, they follow their wallets, and are completely self-serving. That disqualifies a person from being a Public Servant. Other than that, I just want to know who I’m dealing with. I have a lot of psychopaths in my life. I am not one.

            Like

            • James 11:24 on September 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              But I barely have anything in my wallet, and I just let a 2000€ grant slip through my fingers. Reckless, maybe. But I didn’t need or want it, so there it goes down the drain. Adieu, mon argent ! Adieu !

              Liked by 1 person

      • James 19:13 on June 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        If I were you, Lisa, I would leave well alone. If the psychopath even suspects you of sabotaging their plans, they will come down on you like a ton of bricks. What is currently a brief unpleasant memory can easily turn into a long-term nightmare for you.

        But I suspect you’re not going to let this one go. So go with your gut and don’t specifically target this one person, be subtle. Share Tina’s stuff on your Facebook / Twitter, tell the friends you’re most concerned for about the signs of a psychopath, but let them make the connection themselves (i.e. do NOT say anything about “the case of Mr. X”, that’s stupid. You’re not stupid, are you?) and the people in your life should gradually break apart from the psychopath.

        Like

        • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 20:39 on June 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          (Hi James, you make a good point about being general.) Lisa, people should not follow my lead because I am very confrontational – for example, I have a website using the name of my ex – harlantaylor.com For 2 years, he has been silent about it. I set it up because my only concern is that people not fall for his scams / fake love. I fully expect him to come of out nowhere and give me hell some day. If you want to be completely done, then leave it anonymous.

          Like

    • norwegiannoodles 07:13 on July 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Great blog.

      Liked by 2 people

    • positivagirl 01:11 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I have to laugh how your site is called ‘no psychos’ yet you are a psycho!! The irony, did you forget? 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • James 06:03 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        It’s not my site. positivagirl, I just write here. The name is down to Genetic Psycho (Tina), the owner.

        The irony is not lost though, haha 🙂

        Like

    • Stephanie 01:17 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Would you consider narcissists and sociopaths as a classification of psychopathy, a trait, or would this be a breed of their own?

      Like

      • James 06:06 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        It doesn’t really matter what I think, as narcissist is set out as a disorder in the DSM-V whereas sociopathy and psychopathy aren’t. Psycho/sociopathy are listed as antisocial personality disorder. For what it’s worth, I think sociopaths and psychopaths are the exact same thing and narcissists are something different, though there can be overlap.

        Liked by 1 person

        • nowve666 22:06 on September 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          James, I used to use the word sociopath and psychopath interchangeably but I’m beginning to see a usefulness to keeping them as separate concepts. Everyone is always saying psychopaths’ have a different brain than nons. I think we can call those who act psychopathic but who have normal brains sociopaths.

          Like

          • James 11:19 on September 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            I don’t like any definition that uses the word “normal”, so you can count me out of the “we”. And don’t bother messing around with the wording because I don’t agree and that’s it 🙂 If there was no difference between the brain of a socio and that of the average schmuck on the street (or the “man on the Clapham Omnibus” if you like), there would be no socios to begin with.

            Like

            • nowve666 11:51 on September 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              When I say “normal ” I always have imaginary quotation marks around the word whether I type them I. Or not. So you think all sociopaths have different brains?

              Liked by 1 person

              • James 13:03 on September 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                They have to. The mental can’t exist without the physical (which I am aware is a philosophical statement of belief, rather than fact, but the body of evidence is mainly on my side)

                Like

    • Anonymous 01:27 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      So I’m just curious have u always been like this or did something trigger it? Have u ever cared about losing anyone?

      Like

      • James 06:07 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        If I knew that, I probably wouldn’t be here writing. Let’s find out together 🙂

        Like

    • Chad 02:05 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I appreciate your post. I really do. And from a non psychopaths perspective is hard because being with a psychopath I noticed you over shadowed the “threat” catagory. Which is the difficulty of being with someone with this condition. Whenever you are threatened, which everyone is threatened at times, a childish response comes up. As much as there seems a proactive approach to want you want I feel there’s a more reactive reality. Being that you are trying to be helpful I will say yay everyone goes through some fears and threats. That people don’t learn to be adults until they find things that they can live without

      Like

      • James 06:18 on July 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the feedback, Chad. I write the sort of things I think people want to read about, and there’s limited educational and entertainment value for you guys in reading about dark stuff all the time. It just gets tedious and doesn’t serve any purpose except to gross people out. I have written posts that I’ve not published because they’re just extended bouts of bragging and don’t offer the reader anything.

        If there are any topics you would like me to cover, you only have to ask.

        Like

    • A 03:17 on July 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I have some topics..
      Talk about the children brought up in a abusive situation such as this. Talk about the constant new masks having to be re-made and molded for the next source of supply, and then the next and then the next. Talk about the mundane routines of life you get so easily bored with, the numerous hearts you break, the lives you shatter with your lies. Talk about you never getting tired of filling your empty shell with stolen dreams. Talk about the lack of conscience, the lack of remorse, the inability to feel the way “useful, entertainment, unimportant people” feel–which is all a threat to your very existence. Talk about the way you disregard life and despise anyone and everyone who can love, the way God intended it to be, because the love you define, is fleeting, is passing, and will need a new mask, and a new audience.
      A

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 06:55 on July 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        The disdain is strong in this one.

        “Despise anyone and everyone who can’t love” would appear to describe you, A. I hope you can overcome that, because hate is never the answer.

        “An abusive situation such as this.” Such as what? I didn’t mention abuse in any shape or form. I have cared for children in the past, example: https://nopsychos.wordpress.com/2015/06/20/infiltration-by-psychopath/ In short I really don’t know anything about inflicting child abuse, merely what it’s like to be on the receiving end.

        “The constant new masks having to be re-made and molded…shatter with your lies” Yes, okay. Those are all legitimate topics of discussion that I shall write. I hope to read your comments there when I do.

        “Filling your empty shell with stolen dreams.” Hmm, that’s a whole lot of metaphor which doesn’t really mean anything. Luckily I don’t get offended easily.

        “Which is all a threat to your very existence.” You people are not a threat to my existence, you complement my existence. Life would be rubbish without you.

        “The way God intended it to be” Religious people are always so sure they know what God thinks about all manner of things, when all it really is is people using God’s name to peddle an agenda. Well two can play at that game: there’s probably no God, but if there is He made me as I am. So why not respect and love all of God’s creation, instead of just the bits you personally like?

        “The love you define, is fleeting, is passing” Oh really? Are you sure you’re not talking about someone else, someone in your life? Because I don’t recall defining love in any of my posts and since we don’t know each other in person, you can’t possibly be talking about me,

        Thank you for your comment; it’s good to be challenged like that and it’s good for you guys to know that you can say whatever you like here. I hope you find my response satisfactory.

        Liked by 2 people

      • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 21:55 on July 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Hi A,
        It’s hard to deal with disordered people when they are at their worst. Psychopaths have different brains than we do, and they absolutely see and do everything different from the norm.

        Like

        • James 22:03 on July 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          Hopefully that can be seen as far from my worst. I was trying to be diplomatic.

          Like

          • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 22:08 on July 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            I was not talking about you. I was trying to address the concerns raised by A regarding abusive psychopaths.

            Like

            • James 22:10 on July 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              But isn’t everything about me? 🙂

              Yes, that’s quite clear now. Hope to have your support.

              Liked by 1 person

      • sally 00:47 on February 2, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Well stated. Summed up how pathetic James’ existence is. It has no value. He’s a parasite.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Jacey 08:33 on July 25, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      James , interesting read , Yes I can see how one does not have to take offense t being ” Useful” and could perhaps see it as a compliment. perhaps my Sociopath was ‘Useful ” to me too. Best sex ever for one , I was addicted to it . The problem is that I loved the one side of him, he was also very very verbally abusive and if he fear he was about to loose to me then the cycle goes back to the idealization stage . I could go back right now if I wanted ( truthfully it’s hard to stay away) sadly I am always much happier with my sociopath. The unfortunate part is I love him and naturally he does not love me , he can not. There is no question that for him too I am best sex , most fun , ( we have a lot of fun) he can show me off like a regular trophy and does ( yes I like it, of course I love being made to feel I am most desirable and most beautiful) BUT then those eyes of his go black and glassy and his mouth becomes only a slit across his face I know I am about to endure any horror imaginable, He never lets m ego or walks away , that is up to me . He even says I am second to none , first on the list. That is not really a true loving relationship, A LIST !!!! I don’t want a list 😦 I can stay with him, I know how to deal with him but it is way to sad knowing I will never ever hear ” I love you” I will always have to be ready for his mood to sway and be a verbal punching bag and on my game because the game is his and one ca never play fair when the other is the one who makes and changes the rules without the other knowing. The verbal abuse takes layers off a person . In the end not really worth it is it.

      Like

      • James 09:12 on July 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Jacey, hi. Sorry for the delay, your comment was caught up in the spam folder.

        It seems strange that you’re telling me any of that, when you should really let him know. Or not, I can’t work out if you’ve broken up or not yet. If you have, then move on to something else. Remember the good times with fondness.

        Like

    • Robert Larson 00:09 on July 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Quick question; how is this any different from the way neurotypicals form relationships?

      Like

      • James 03:58 on July 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Good question, Robert. Maybe it isn’t very different at all and this is proof we are more alike than not.

        Like

    • Rita 23:48 on July 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Come down on me like a ton of bricks? What the hell does that mean? I’ve been married to a sociopath for 26 years. I find the games and manipulations and cons and lies the most stupid form of life there is. I don’t care which category I fall in. I don’t care about something somebody got away with for many years. I don’t care if 90% of the human population believes a smear campaign against me. What the hell, if they are silly enough to listen to talk behind someone’s back, it’s fine by me if their brains are filled with fantasy. Will I EXPOSE the sociopath? Maybe. Am I afraid? Hell no. You gamers crack me up. A non-gamer is always superior to a gamer. Do you know why? A non-gamer means every word they say, and the gamer is always too stupid to know it. I’m the one who can walk away and not look back. My sociopath has just been served with divorce papers and he is mad as hell over it. Yawn.

      Like

      • James 06:42 on July 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Then you are the exception to the rule. Pity it took you a quarter of a century to realise that. Haha, you wasted your life.

        Like

        • nina 17:36 on October 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          So, james you attacked the lady mocking her that she wasted a quarter of her life married to a sociopath becouse the superiority of him and you simultaneously was challenged by her leaving him..? And how do you know anything about her life to make this assumption? bad thing when a psyco is served with shit i suppose so he has to immediately restore his pseudosuperiority. Well, in my case, after years of having passed good times with a psycopath being i suppose less useful and more entertaining, he screwed thing up with a grand stupidity and i dumbed him. Three years now he vacillates between silence and brief efforts to lure me back again. He of course has an official new woman but he probably sees her more useful than entertaining. I am supposedly his true love as he calls me when he appears from time to time. Me, i am having my life of course and when he appears depending on my mood i play the game briefly and of course i leave finally. My question is: is there any possibillity that in his own distorted way he could somehow love me? becouse trully i think that he says these things in order to manipulate me and use me for fun and i do not believe him. But all this is going on almost a decade now, soon thankfully will be over as our proffessional cooperation hopefully is soon to be finished. What the hell he mesns when he says he loves me? that i am a challenge to him? by the way i diagnosed him and he accepted it, he is high functioning self aware psycopath and all the time he praises my intellectual capacity. WTF?

          Like

          • nowve666 20:42 on October 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            Nina said, “Me, i am having my life of course and when he appears depending on my mood i play the game briefly and of course i leave finally.” So he isn’t the only game player here, is he? “My question is: is there any possibillity that in his own distorted way he could somehow love me?” Sounds like you still love him. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so interested in whether he loves you. ” he is high functioning self aware psycopath and all the time he praises my intellectual capacity.” Yeah, I think you are both hooked into each other. Have fun.

            Like

            • nina 05:26 on October 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              Thank you very much for your answer. Of course i love him, i never denied it to myself ,why to do it? It dosn’ mean though that becouse i am empathic and i love him ( whoever ‘him’ ) i am also a moron to let him destroy me. I can love him and i can love other people also. It is understanding that i seek here becouse for somenone who has empathy and consciense it is not comprehensible what a psycopath means when he says during years ‘i love you’, ‘ you are my true love’ while i know that by definition he is incabable of this feeling-state. So i conclude that it is manipulation all these love declarations but in a strange way that i cannot fully explain logically, i intuitively sense that maybe there is something i miss in the whole equation. BTW empaths can very well play games when they decide to , it is not a psycopath’s unique ability. What it is needed for me is to use a little more my logical part of my brain and cease for as long it is necessary the emotional. Once i realised what he is i have advantage over him becouse his blind emotional state is a severe handicap when he deals with me. Neverthelles, i do not see any true meaning for me in such a gaming situation as i certainly prefere genuine relationships and it is a matter of time and life contitions for all this to be ended. But my brain always seeks plausible explanations for what i experience. That’s why i am asking. Any input will be welcomed .

              Liked by 1 person

              • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 09:43 on October 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                HI Nina,
                There are plenty of folks going through the same thing as you are. There is a name for it – hoovering. That is when the psychopath keeps coming back to see if s/he can suck you into their fake world again. You will find a lot of answers on the forum at PsychopathFree.com

                Like

                • nina 06:09 on October 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                  Thank you Tina for your answer.

                  I searched the link you suggested me. I found a lot of things which resonate with my experience.

                  But i do not like the way they present the whole theme in general. I find it too cultish -like for my critical thinking.

                  Nina

                  Like

              • James 20:35 on October 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                I apologise for the delay in getting back to you, Nina.

                One bit of advice. Big blocks of text with long-running sentences are hard to read.

                Another bit of advice: Yes, I think there is a real and distinct possibility that your psychopath loves you. As for what that could mean, maybe you are just a fun game to him. Or maybe there is something deeper that he struggles to express in anything deeper than manipulation, but nonetheless it is still there.

                I hope for your sake that you find a way to resolve your situation without too much fuss or emotional trouble.

                Like

                • nina 13:38 on October 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                  Thank you for the advice James, I hope you are genuine.

                  Nina

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • James 07:07 on October 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                    It was genuine advice, sure 🙂

                    My apology and wish that it all works out were not, however.

                    Liked by 1 person

    • nowve666 11:34 on August 31, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I an proud to be a source of your entertainment as you are to me.

      Liked by 1 person

    • JJ 03:28 on January 12, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’m bored. Entertain me.

      Like

    • Flora 07:28 on January 13, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Do you see sociopaths as inferior or equal-ish to psychopaths?

      Like

      • James 14:32 on January 13, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        They’re the same as far as I’m concerned. How do you see it?

        Like

        • Amaterasu Solar 18:03 on January 14, 2016 Permalink | Reply

          The way I see it, a sociopath will pretty much choose Ethically but will offer no more of Themselves as is required to get what They want. A psychopath will take the step into any and all unEthical choices if it will get Them money/power/energy.

          Like

    • Tara 07:34 on March 19, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I found your article interesting. I am wondering if players (not athletes but men or women who use people and then dump them) if they would be considered pyschopaths?

      Like

      • James 19:44 on March 19, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Yes, I think they would. And thank you.

        Like

    • Amelia SleepAllDay 21:41 on March 20, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Your bluntness made my day, not that you care whether my day was a good one or not but I’m here saying that it did so plz don’t polish your texts to please the audience, more than you already do. How will we ever get near the truth if we keep saying what is expected to be said? wait, does that make any sense….-_- Bah I bet it doesn’t but too bad what has been said cannot be unsaid, time is money and I’m too lazy to erase so bear with my poor English xD

      P.S: Do you even care if one says “please” when asking you something or “Thank you” when you give them something? As time goes, even neurotypical people became desensitized to those empty often ill intended words so I guess to you they are nothing more than syllables used on a daily basis in the name of “manners” ?

      P.P.S: “you’d certainly stand a good chance of an upgrade.” This sounds like a pills add to enlarge your coughs coughs XDDDD

      Like

      • James 16:20 on March 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I prefer it when people are polite to me. I like to be respected. If I ever write another article, I’ll bear what you wrote about bluntness in mind.

        Like

    • Anonymous 05:02 on May 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “If the psychopath even suspects you of sabotaging their plans, they will come down on you like a ton of bricks.” They’ll TRY to, anyway…right, my little friend?

      Like

      • James 11:09 on June 10, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Try, and sometimes fail, yes 🙂

        Like

    • DA 00:43 on June 9, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Hi James,

      Do you think it is possible (and if so could you advise an approach) to form some sort of allegiance with a psychopath for mutual interest/entertainment?

      I can very clearly see my most recent fling being a psychopath and the first person I’ve ever encountered to fall so far on that spectrum (atleast to my knowledge) but I found the whole experience rather fascinating and exciting once I removed myself from the self imposed hurt. Her personality and intellect, much like yours, would just be an absolute gem of wisdom and creative inspiration.

      She is constantly trying to “reel” me back in, I assume just to know that she can and to replay the game with me, but is there a way to flip the script so to speak, so that she would be able to accept my probing of her real self (well as real as she is willing to show) without her wanting to destroy me and instead become some sort of weird allies?

      I’m an artist, I want to see the world through her eyes for a while at least haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 11:06 on June 10, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Really interesting proposition, DA. Not knowing your friend, it’s nigh on impossible to give really good specific advice, because as you’ll know as an artist, individuals are all very different and behave in weird and unpredictable ways.

        The first thing is to recognise that even if you’re the psychopath’s favourite person (and who’s to say you’re not, but I wouldn’t rely on it!), your needs, wishes and desires are still a very distant second place to her own. Why is that relevant? It means that what you’re proposing will only work if your friend actually wants to be “probed” and form an alliance. If it’s something that interests her, you can expect enthusiastic participation and no half-assing, if not the proposals could be met with indifference or vicious ‘counter-attack’ (based of course on the false assumption you’re attacking her to begin with).

        So, how to approach this in a way that will maximise your chances of a favourable outcome? For a start, don’t bring up psychopathy. Don’t babble about a “lack of empathy” or “shallow affect”. Don’t mention it. Not all psychopaths know what “psychopath” means, and those that do won’t appreciate someone asking personal questions while tossing around vaguely threatening shrink talk!

        Do focus on in something. Notice a manipulative or devious act that she just did (or bring to mind one from the past if nothing presents itself in the present), or another bit of behaviour you find is unique to her, and bring it up in conversation. Praise her a bit – nothing too heavy like you’re worshipping her, that’ll seem trite – and try to communicate a tone of approval, admiration and shared enthusiasm.

        Now if she’s as intelligent as you say (noting your own brightness, I have no reason to doubt hers), she’s not going to actually believe any flattery. But she might well be drawn by your attitude, and even if your apparent enthusiasm is fake, she should be intrigued by this different side to you. You may find that she wants to relate another story of an exploit she’s proud of. Take it from there. Perhaps you will become her confidant, a vantage point from which you can get to know her worldview from the inside and perhaps develop it to the point where you wish to participate in her fun 😉

        If you find this advice to be useful, why not try it out? I would love to know what the outcome is, if you can be bothered to come back and report it.
        Just one other thing, your mentioning of “self-imposed hurt” intrigues me. Do you mean to say you view yourself responsible for any emotional harm you picked up when around your friend? Many thanks for your comment, and for allowing me to advise you in what promises to be a fascinating artistic experiment.

        Like

    • Andrea 19:54 on July 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Hey James,
      Thank you for the article, as it was rather informative and quite entertaining as usual.. I was rather intrigued by your post and found it somewhat comical in the sense that psychopaths/sociopaths almost come off as comedic with their self righteous comments when speaking of themselves. It almost sounds like it is natural when you’s are referring to oneself to come off as if no one in the world (except your so called chosen few) has any importance or purpose on this earth but as if you (and all other psychopaths/sociopaths) should and will in some way matter to everyone else, as if it is a privilege to be accepted into one of your “groups”. I, however am stuck in limbo right now.. (with my emotions that is) Yes I am unfortunately an empath so I do possess those annoying things we call feelings.. But I have been dating on & off (ok.. let’s not kid myself here, I should say “friends with benefits”) I’ve been on & off “friends with benefits” with a sociopath for the past 2 years now.. I did not know he was a sociopath right from the start.. In fact, I didn’t even know what one was when first meeting him.. I did, however find his behavior rather strange in a sense that it intrigued me to want more.. I could see that he was not like any other guy I have encountered and so that made him “special”. Even after all of the yo-yoing of emotions and the back and forth and up and down and even sideways sometimes, enough was never enough for me. I guess you could say that this sociopath had met his match. I, myself am a Gemini, he’s an Aries and I have a rather high level of determination and I’m not willing to back down easily from anything. Especially, when it’s something I want.. Plus I’m a little crazy myself, being that I have severe adhd, ocd and bipolar.. I know.. however, that my determination is absolutely not the reason why I’m still around 2 years later because let’s face it, in the end the sociopath/psychopath runs the show, calls the shots as you would say.. I believe that along with my good looks, I have a very interesting personality myself.. I am what you would call ever-changing, I am constantly changing, attitudes, personalities, behaviors.. So you never know what you’re going to get from me (it all depends on how I feel at that moment and how much control I’m able to possess over my behavior and/or mouth), and also my adapting capabilities are phenomenal. So I am able to sustain my sanity during times of abandonment or a rather large withdrawal of interest, concern or priority on his part; whenever he has had his fill of me. So basically, what I’m saying is, I know how to keep things interesting enough to keep grabbing his interests in order for him to keep coming back. Now that I have beyond educated and familiarized myself with who and what sociopaths/psychopaths are, I now have come to understand that it is not just my good looks and charm that keep him wanting more but that I am of great use to him for many things (sex and entertainment mainly) and he’d be a fool to fully dispose of me. I don’t know what is worse though honestly.. The fact that I am aware of what use I can be to him or the fact that I try to trick myself into believing that just because I am aware of my use to him that I am in control, when deciding and agreeing to hang out and do whatever.. I don’t know if and when I’ll ever have enough. His lack of information sharing and darkness behind his eyes are an ongoing mystery to me and I’m forever trying to solve it. Like as if I think one day I am going to be able to get through to him and he’s just going to fully understand and tears of excitement and joy are just going to come pouring out of his eyes.. haha.. Yea right! A girl can dream though, right? But anyway, who knows where this is headed and who knows where this will end up.. I’m not thinking about all that. I’m just enjoying being brought along this whirlwind of a journey that he has taken me on. I believe in a way him and I are a perfect match for each other.. haha actually the polar opposite but I think that’s why we’re a good match, I have what he lacks and his brilliant, complex mind keeps me forever interested and on my toes ready for the next obstacle, adventure, whatever it may be.. This is the exact individual that I desire. Nothing is more boring and more unattractive then a man that can be figured out in a weeks time. I crave the unknown and feign the mystery behind it. Meeting him has changed my life in so many ways and has opened up my eyes to a whole other part of society in which I’m grateful for..

      Again, thank you for the article, keep them coming..
      Hopefully this comment was intriguing enough for you.. 😊 Take care, Andrea

      Liked by 1 person

    • nowve666 10:46 on July 5, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Would you really want “to be able to get through to him and he’s just going to fully understand and tears of excitement and joy are just going to come pouring out of his eyes?” I’ve been in two intense, all-encompassing relationships with psychopaths even though I’m one, myself. I can relate to about 90% of what you are saying. I just would never have wanted mine to have ever relinquished their mystery and power. Maybe trying to “break” him is part of the game, a game you would never want to “win.” Or is this just my masochism speaking?

      Like

    • Dawn Simmons 16:18 on July 10, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Is there a way to get a psycho/sociopath to open up and expose their real self, like pour their heart out, especially if the person is a teenager? If so, can you tell me the secret of how?

      Like

      • James 12:14 on July 14, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        If by that you mean “Is there a way to get my son (daughter?) to open up and talk to me honestly for once instead of lying and manipulating me with contempt?”, then my answer is no, probably not. If you don’t understand your own child enough to get him / her to trust you, what hope do the rest of us have? That said, I will try to enlist the help of fellow blogger Tina, who is herself the mother of a psychopathic daughter. Maybe she’ll have some insight.

        Liked by 1 person

      • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 13:41 on July 14, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Hi Dawn,
        I got my ex-husband talking about it on a car ride. I asked him if he always had no feelings, or did he have feelings when he was a child and they went away. He answered that he never had feelings. I then began to ask a number of other questions, and his answers relieved a lot of the mystery.

        I was jokingly going to say: Tell them that you admire the way they lie so easily, and you wish you could do it.

        However, I have not tried that one!

        As for my daughter (a psychopath), I have not tried to get her to open up. Once I understood psychopathy, I just let her be. It’s a pain in the ass to put forth your efforts to get to the truth when they won’t give up, no matter if they are caught red-handed.

        Like

    • Anonymous 19:31 on July 31, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Why is everyone so on edge with these things?

      Like

    • Forgiven 18:59 on November 13, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      How would you view a BPD?
      Thank you

      Like

      • James 17:32 on November 14, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Fun 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Forgiven 17:56 on November 14, 2016 Permalink | Reply

          Is this a blog where we come and chat with you, like on HG Tudor Blog? I am sorry, but I’m always somehow not sure what’s going on in life. Are you a Sociopath, Psychopath, or Narcissist? I haven’t read enough yet, of your posts to know what’s going on. I have been entangled with several Narcissists.

          Like

    • Chris Flore 05:47 on December 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Do you ever tell people how you really feel? See if they have something to respond with? You say you have no feelings but do you ever think you’re just not ready for feelings because YOU would be upset then. But you would only be upset until things get ‘sorted out’ I believe….this is only kind of a theory…if in reality you have no feelings then it says something about people who do as well (not just you) so you don’t really have to call yourself a psychopath unless you wanna, you can just acknowledge that you do not feel much for people compared to other people.

      Like

    • Alicia 15:26 on December 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Hi. I appreciate you sharing and find it very inciteful. I do have a couple of questions, though. How did you first learn that you were a psychopath? Also, I thought that psychopaths and sociopaths were similar, except for the fact that a psychopath is someone who would hurt you. Why do you consider yourself a psychopath and not a sociopath?

      Like

    • Rob R 10:22 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      James,
      If I repeat any sentiments or points previously made, this would be the result of only skimming responses so while I make no apologies I’m simply giving you explanation. With that said, what you wrote would unfortunately describe approximately 90% of the people on this planet (not to mention most life on this planet). For those who might happen to read this and immediately and strongly deny they in fact have the same exact rhetoric as you described, let me tell you how I see the world (minus the label of psychopath). What you described is merely the glaringly obvious reality of life! To put it simply, there’s not 1 person who can rationally or logically proclaim they have a genuine concern for anyone else greater than they do for themselves. Anyone who does protest is either mentally incapable of intelligent thought or have their head so far up their ….. that they give “talking out your a$$” a too literal visual! Why do I say this? In any situation where individuals happen to intermingle, there comes a moment of decision. WHAT AND HOW CAN THIS PERSON, THING, PLACE, CIRCUMSTANCE BENEFIT “ME?” Now, it’s at this point where people tell me how awful I am to think that that’s the way every single human being on this planet behaves and thinks. So, I simply laugh and respond with the following question and I invite everyone to play along and answer once you read the entire question but before reading any further than that. Question: Would you befriend a deaf, dumb mute?

      NO CHEATING. ANSWER HONESTLY!

      Inevitably, the answer is a always a defensive and resounding, “We’ll of course I would!” To which I calmly reply,

      “Why?”

      DON’T SPOIL THE SURPRISE BY READING AHEAD BEFORE ANSWERING WHY YOU SAID YES!

      I’ll spare you all the answers I get as they are never anything other than reactionary, thoughtless tantrums of denial about a person’s true motives as to why in fact they may very well become friends with the DDM, but the antecdote to this riddle is there is no possible way any one with any sense of reality or sensibility can argue that their assumed “selfless” gesture of befriending the DDM, is in fact yet another example of assocation solely for the purpose of self gratification. In this case, the person who only had the DDMs interest at heart is in fact glad to bestow their “gift” of friendship to this poor being if for no other reason than to get a chest full of emotional righteousness they’ve now been entitled to receive… Ummmm, maybe we’re all psychopaths…. the moral of the story was not to piss anybody off, which I’m sure I have, but merely to hopefully give a few people a bit of a reality check. Depending on others is not a weakness nor is it malicious to need or even want something from someone. Ironically, my definition of psychopath would be someone who believes that there’s no benefit to be had of other people. Just another perspective from someone who is not a psychopath. Thanks for letting me share some space James.

      Liked by 1 person

      • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 11:23 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        It’s pretty obvious that you don’t know the definition of friendship or love.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Rob R 17:08 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

          You’re a 1/4 right. I don’t know the definition of love as I’ve experienced nothing so magical, however since I know the definition of friendship I can honestly conclude my perception of the “idea” of love seems quite a bit more complicated then the definition implies. Friendship however is exactly what I just described.

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      • Amaterasu Solar 13:11 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Well, I took Your test, and here’s what I would answer. Yes, in a sense, We ALL are motivated by Self-interest. The difference is that, the reason I would befriend a disadvantaged Other has to do with My being able to put Myself in that Other’s place, experience the loneliness that such a condition is likely to create. And yes, while I get Self-gratification from alleviating that loneliness in anOther, it is because I CARE that I can get such satisfaction.

        On the other hand, a… What label is better than “psychopath?” Since You don’t seem to like that commonly used label for One who DOESN’T care… Who CAN’T care. Who might see no purpose in befriending One who cannot offer Them any material gain… On the other hand, the genetically handicapped (is that better?) cannot care.

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      • Chris Flore 05:33 on December 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        lol…My response to “Would I befriend a deaf dumb mute”? is maybe. Yes, sometimes a human being is just befriending the physical presence of another but there is obviously more senses in this person than the fact they can’t speak anything intelligibly or hear anything. And I see your point, but you can’t say anyone in particular is a psychopath any which way in a reality of infinite everythings but yes reality always seems to present you with finite challenges and things are very different in that space for everyone. They may or may not actually befriend this theoretical DDM. They may or may not SAY they would or would not befriend this deaf dumb mute. I’m not exactly sure what it says that most people say that of course they would about how “most people” are… still I don’t think it exactly means that there aren’t cases where people would & do make genuine sacrifices…sometimes it requires quite a bit of what we call intelligence maybe…but when one does make a genuine sacrifice, that could also seem stupid…until larger horizons are revealed and you see you simply made another decision which had its positives & negatives overall to your self & the fact that there really is no self in certain posits.

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      • Anonymous 14:55 on December 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        My answer, before reading further: Does the deaf/dumb/mute need or want my friendship? Am I able to enrich their life and/or mine with that friendship? They’re human beings, not furniture, it’s arrogant and stupid to assume they want or need me. Most of us will deal with huge challenges in life, it doesn’t make us charity cases, and it doesn’t mean we need the help/”friendship” of every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along. I’ve faced serious loss and problems in my life, and have highly valued the true friends and kind people that actually did help me. I’ve also been cursed with “do-gooders” that don’t have the insight or personality traits to properly assist or befriend me. None of us is Jesus Christ Superstar, we don’t have the traits or ability to help everyone, or be good for everyone. When I can, if I can be a true friend or bring a genuine kindness, I want to pay it forward and backward with appreciation for what others have done for me. I don’t know or care what that is labeled, I label it kindness, and it’s beneficial to myself as well as others. It’s not motivated by guilt or appearance. And as I write, I realize I already have befriended someone who is deaf, dumb and mute. He has Angelman syndrome, and I forgot that he “qualifies”. I know that I make his day better when we meet, I know that his family appreciates that from me. There is true kindness out there, it’s not mindless or guilt driven, it is actually intelligent and well-thought out, respectful of others, not afraid to receive benefit in return, and good-hearted. It looks like some here don’t know what that is, I’m happy to be part of family and friends who do. Fun discussion. I think genuine kindness is not afraid to benefit in return, knowing we all need benefits to come our way. Assessing benefits that can come from others, nothing wrong with that part of a psychopathic approach in my view, although I highly value the emotional attachments that I experience not being one.

        Liked by 1 person

    • nowve666 14:16 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Rob, I know someone who is mute (but not deaf). He is autistic. Although he can’t talk, he can write very articulately. And he plays the piano really beautifully. In answer to your question about a deaf-mute, I would say it would depend on the person. He or she would have to have something to offer. I’m not a social worker. I disagree with your definition of a psychopath as “someone who believes that there’s no benefit to be had of other people.” James has already said one of the classifications of people he encounters is those who can be useful. If we never used people, who is there so much whining by “victims” claiming to have been used. If you change your definition of a psychopath, you could possibly be one. Amaterasu, why would you want to “experience the loneliness” of a deaf mute?

      Like

      • Rob R 16:30 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Allow me to clarify a few points above. By no means was I trying to insult any person. My use of a DDM was an extreme scenario to invoke a response that would in fact be a defensive one.
        Congratulations Solar! Your response perfectly supports my point (to a rather disturbing degree).
        Nowvee, your response is appreciated and deserves further explanation.
        First: my reasoning for using a DDM is two-fold. If I would have said “severely, mentally challenged, individual who could not hear or speak, I would not get the response I was fishing for to make my example clear. The other reason was to emphasize the simple truth of how a so-called psychopath’s motives and agendas aren’t all that unusual and the defining difference of a psychopath from Tom, Dick and Harry is they make no excuses, ask for no apologies, and for the most part are aware and accept their unique attribute and I believe perceive life in a different reality (a reality that is outside the zeitgeist of their existence). In other words, I think Solar did a brilliant job demonstrating how a non psychpath’s reality is to contradict the way things really are because of a false sense of what they believe to be socially or personally acceptable when in practice they are actually subversely and in Solar’s case, aggressively using a person to further their own agenda all in the name of compassion. I know that was deep but let me simplify it like this. Solar’s response was ultimately one that focused specifically on attributes of a person that she accused me of labeling with what I would assume would be unacceptable in today’s society. Her response to why she would befriend this DDM is an absolute contradiction of the point I am guessing she’s trying to make. Solar, what exactly did the DDM tell you that you believed you would be of benefit to them by being able to emphathize with the lonliness their “condition is likely to create?” Hmmmm. My guess is he probably didn’t say anything. Furthermore, being he’s of less than average intelligence, mentally challenged or whatever other politically correct term you want to call dumb, it’s likely that he may be lucky enough to be in ignorant bliss. Now this is what I find despicable: according to the way you answered you would take it upon yourself to assume they were lonely insisting how you would be of use to them by imposing your self actualized empathy of their nonexistent loneliness because you are talented enough to put yourself in a place where misery is abundant. So you’re doing him good by having him accompany you to the pitty party?

        I never said the DDM had nothing to offer. Those were your words. The point that you seem to have clearly missed was the only person that benefited or will benefit from the DDM is you. In fact you did an amazing job of rationalizing, defending, and making excuses for your motives of gratifying yourself by alleviating a lonliness (in who)? The most disgusting realization here is that at least when a psychopath uses somebody that person has the ability to get up and walk away or at least say stop.

        Nowvee…. I know that was really in-depth, but does that explain a little better of why I would change the definition of a psycho path? Interesting that you mention that my changing of definitions would possibly classify me as a psychopath as that is something I do wonder about myself daily. However, I’ve noticed a theme in reading some of these posts in terms of empathy. While, I’ve just recently discovered I do lack empathy in many scenarios and situations, I’m not so convinced that alone would classify me as a psychopath in the sense that empathy in itself is usually gained as something we can relate to because of an experience where we had that same emotion if we’re not lucky enough to have it come to us naturally, however I’m usually passionate about trying to understand why somebody feels that way they do and I certainly can and do sincere moments where I sympathize. In summary, you’re stating exactly what it was that I was describing above.

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    • Rob R 16:55 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Also keep in mind, those who have posted on here to describe their discovery of someone who is a psychopath have admitted to being intrigued or felt betrayed. In either instance something very valuable is being derived from both sides. A psychopath is so because they have the ability to take advantage of those who they find are beneficial to them. Unfortunately some are unwitting victims, but the perception of those who are intrigued is one of a learning or dare I say a growing experience. Conceptually, instead of trying to come to a psychopath’s level or play their game, why not observe with unbiased scrutiny just exactly how they interact, and you might be suprised, while they may not have empathy for you, you might actually empathize with them and even gain an entirely new perspective about what you were so damn convinced was real or even moral! So in a really long novella type style, I’m merely trying to point out to those who choose to stay associated or in contact with a psychopath are just experiencing a different perspective of reality. Yes, reality whether you subscribe to it it not, the fact remains that each individual’s reality is determined, changed, counted and ultimately chosen by the perception they alone conceive.

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    • Amaterasu Solar 16:59 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I am not surprised that You missed My point, there, Rob. The point is that there is a caring symbiosis in such Self-serving behavior. There is a connection. In the psychopathic Self-service, it’s not a reciprocal thing. There is no connection. It’s always a use and discard when no further use can be had. In One who gets Self-service by connecting, loving, caring, there is no discard phase. The benefits are mutual and enhance both parties. BIG difference, dear One.

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      • Rob R 17:35 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Wow…You are indeed blissfully ignorant. The benefits are mutual…. Hmmmm…. maybe, just maybe your self-serving connecting, loving, caring, enhancing agendas may also be perceived as enabling, aggressive, unwanted, unwarranted, and it’s a slight possibility that your conviction to your self-service Deeds may actually be over shadowing the real needs of what a person might truly benefit from you. Like understanding or compassion or critical thought or space, separation, ability to perceive a different point of view, or something that doesn’t involve you. I’m not really clear as to why you think I’m not getting your point. I get it. It’s about you. And as long as it’s about you the other person will benefit. Because there is no discard phase when you love them and care for them and do for them as long as its gratifying to you and your perfect ideals and flawless powers of other perceptions. Point made silly one!

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        • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 21:48 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

          You speak like a psychopath. If that is the case, then you are missing the brain circuitry that would enable you to understand Amy’s point. If you can’t experience love, then you can’t experience friendship, then you can’t understand Amy.

          Liked by 1 person

          • nowve666 22:24 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

            And I suppose you think you understand us. I’ll bet you do. Think so, that is. Ah. We each live our own truth, don’t we?

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            • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 22:40 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

              Remember that I grew up in a family of psychopaths. Maybe I don’t understand you, but I know you.

              Liked by 2 people

              • nowve666 10:28 on December 23, 2016 Permalink | Reply

                For sure. And I grew up in a family of empaths. We “know” each other to a point. Which makes life interesting.

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        • Amaterasu Solar 08:24 on December 23, 2016 Permalink | Reply

          ROFL! “Agendas!” Oh, dear One… We don’t go out seeking to force Our love and caring on Others to bolster Our “good feelings!” There is a CONNECTION We make when the caring flows. We might not always choose the perfect actions, but We WANT to. Because bringing happiness and comfort to Others is what Our Self-servingness is all about. When Others are happy is when those feelings are fulfilled. A psychopath has no connection and the Other’s happiness, comfort, etc., is of no use to Them.

          Like

    • Melanie 22:12 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I wrote an incomprehensible question, so I don’t deserve an answer.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rob R 23:34 on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Awwww, it’s almost endearing to see you all grasp at the need to insist you’re somehow unique or too complex to be understood. I’ve spent enough energy on this and apologize for the audacity of challenging your oh so crucial need to make certain you keep babbling in your bubbles of BS. I’ll spare you all any further thoughts or consideration. Peace to you all.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 05:30 on December 23, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Oh well. At least that means I don’t have to read your comments or talk to you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • nowve666 10:41 on December 23, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Aw! No more comments from you, Rob? But we are all “beautiful and unique snowflakes.” But perhaps you are projecting just a bit about the “need to insist (one is) somehow unique or too complex to be understood.” I think everyone on this thread is struggling in our own way to make ourselves understood. Cryptic has such a limited shelf life.

        Liked by 1 person

    • alameme 17:43 on January 3, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      So I love a psychopath madly and as one can u advise me how to make a successful relationship with him other than constantly attempting to be useful any advice?

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      • James 19:06 on January 4, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I am very flattered you think I may have had any successful relationships, but I can assure you I have not. My advice is to go seek the help of an agony aunt.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Alice 17:00 on January 31, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I work in computer security, and both in school and professionally, I’m pretty sure several of my colleagues have had AsPD. It sucks when people try to give armchair diagnoses to others, but I’m comfortable with my own hypocrisy 😀

      Of course, I didn’t know until something happened that made them* stop hiding, like they didn’t get a promotion or got rejected by someone. Then I got pretty weirded out. I’m really glad I’ve never gotten attached and been a target like that.

      But, man, they can be fun to hang out with. And I’ve learned tons from each one. I have somewhat opposite emotional issues (my therapist argued with someone about me, in front of me, and said I’m the exact opposite of a psychopath lol.) I have extreme overwhelming sympathy, but my empathy circuits are seriously repressed. Seeing how those people act in relationships really opened my eyes to things I was doing that hurt people I love. (Like, I’m still trying to figure out how things I’ve done have been “disrespectful” to some of my exes… And I do super manipulative things, on purpose, but I’d never admit it even to a therapist.)

      Oh, and they are awesome to just get beers with. Some stuff they say when there’s nothing to lose is, to me, shockingly wtf hilarious.

      Anyway, hi!

      *Maybe it’s not cool to say “them” but I don’t know what else to use.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 21:21 on January 31, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Hi Alice! Welcome to the forum. Here I go with an armchair diagnosis, might you be borderline? It’s amazing how much intelligent people can learn from psychopaths, even about themselves. Like you said, it opens your eyes, and it’s always good to be well-entertained along the way.

        Totally not cool to say “them”. I don’t know how you have the fucking audacity, taking liberties with pronouns like that. Deeply offended.

        Yeah, nah.

        I need therapising too. Can I ask your advice? As a super manipulator, do you get any benefit from therapy? Does your therapist help you, or do they only help the side of yourself you present to him/her?

        I ask because I have found my inability to be honest about certain things a barrier to effective therapy (duhh, who’da thought it?), and I have found therapists hopelessly out of their depth with me. Not a boast (I wish it were), but their therapy ‘techniques’ are too transparent, and generally aimed at the sort of ‘touchy feely’ emotional person they’re used to treating.

        If you have any insight, that would be awesome. Ciao for now.

        Liked by 1 person

        • nowve666 21:36 on January 31, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          What do you want with therapy, James?

          Like

          • James 10:48 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

            Depression, my dear.

            Like

            • nowve666 11:09 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

              Shit! That sucks. How long have you been depressed?

              Like

              • James 11:38 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

                Oh, a couple of years. I actually have mentioned it on the blog before, but I don’t bang on about it. Yes, overall (on balance) it sucks, but in some ways, it has been good for me – I have a more realistic / mature view of myself than I did. Narcissism is delusory, while depression is a big dose of reality.

                Liked by 1 person

                • nowve666 12:07 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

                  If having a “realistic” view of oneself means being depressed, who needs it? I prefer grandiosity/narcissism. Of course, we all have a side or a view of ourselves that focuses on what we don’t like, what we find regrettable about ourselves. But that’s no more “real” than our grandiose view. I guess it’s optimism vs. pessimism. Sure, looking at our flaws can help us aspire to become better. I remember once I mentioned my noticing that you are as hard on yourself as you are on others (me). The ability to self-critique can certainly help us correct what we don’t like. But if it doesn’t result in your feeling better about yourself in the long run, what good does it do you? Being “better” probably helps the world more than it helps you. For myself, I prefer to see myself through rose-colored glasses of grandiosity. The glass has just as much water whether it is half-empty or half-full. So seeing it as half-full looks like the most advantageous way to go. I know you’re not supposed to tell a depressed person how great he is because that denies his feelings. So I hope I’m not trespassing by writing this. I do find you awesome.

                  I just read Amaterasu’s comment and your reply. I see you didn’t choose depression but, at the same time, you think it has been “good” for you and made you more mature and realistic. But I question the idea that your depressed view of yourself is more realistic. What good is it to not have a conscience if you are still going to pick at yourself?

                  Like

                  • James 16:20 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

                    You’re definitely not trespassing, so no fear.

                    Who said I had a depressed view of myself? Answer: you did! Yes, it’s true. Yes you did, just then – I saw you 🙂

                    Question: why do you assume that just because I have depression and am no longer as narcissistic that it must mean I have low self-esteem? That actually couldn’t be further from the truth, as my self-esteem is now grounded in who I really am, rather than a grandiose fantasy of myself.

                    And of course none of that gives an “a-Okay” label to depression, of course I want to overcome it, and I will 🙂

                    Liked by 1 person

    • Amaterasu Solar 11:50 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know if I have offered My method for handling depression… I used to choose to depress often. A while ago now I learned to accept that I was choosing My emotions. One thing I learned was, when I started to feel the depression coming on, to ask Myself why I was choosing to depress. Sometimes I get answers, other times I do not, but either way, I then ask: is there a better choice? At first I was asking these questions of Myself a couple or three times a day, even though every time, the depression abated for a while. A few months in and the depression had lessened to once or twice a week. After a year, I was seldom having to ask this, and now, a decade or more in, it is extremely unusual for Me to even start to depress. And then, as soon as I ask the first question…the depression goes away.

      Hope this helps, James (and any Others who struggle with depression).

      Like

      • James 12:02 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        It sounds like you were practising mindfulness, though were perhaps unaware of the term. I agree that it can be a help, but generally I don’t choose to feel depressed, happy or anything else. It’s ironic, because I can manipulate others’ emotions quite easily 🙂

        Like

        • Amaterasu Solar 12:17 on February 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          I used to think I did not choose My feelings… I fought that idea, in fact. But I, as I have said, learned that I do – by what I think about, and how I think about what I choose to think about. Once I learned that, I found i had no issues choosing the best feelings. [smile] Look into Choice Theory by William Glasser. That’s where I was introduced to this.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Isabel 11:53 on February 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I have recently come to the conclusion that my ex boyfriend is either a narcissist or a psychopath but I am having trouble figuring out what category he belongs to . What are some differences between the two?

      Like

    • isabelmm92 18:31 on February 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you for your response and link . It has been a year since my ex broke it off with me but we still remain “friends”. He texts me a few times a week and we even see each other for a short time about once or twice a month to smoke .I believe that he is a malignant narcissist from being in a long term relationship with him. I am just confused by his frequent texts and asking to hang out. I find it hard to believe that he truly regards me as a friend but I don’t understand why he would bother reaching out to me.

      Like

    • Chip 18:51 on April 26, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I have always been very curious how a relationship between two psychopaths would be. Have you ever had an encounter with someone psychopathic? If so, could you easily distinguish them from normal (non-psychopathic) humans? Also, would you ever do something for someone else’s personal gain if you didn’t get anything in return?

      Like

    • sandra silverman 21:58 on July 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      what is the pyschological reason narcs developed no empathy, no emotions and fear of it intimacy. how did that charaterisic evolove?

      Like

      • James 03:58 on July 10, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Sandra, your comment is fundamentally flawed. Everyone has emotions, and everyone has capacity for empathy, even the coldest, most calculating psychopathic murderers! Have a read of another of my articles, Mythbusting Psychopathy, which addresses both of these points (and more!), with psychologist-backed evidence. Many, if not most, if the points apply to narcissists as well.

        Fear of intimacy is not a trait of narcissism that I have ever heard, though as I am not an expert on narcissism, I won’t fully commit to discrediting it. It doesn’t ring true with my understanding of the condition, but I could be mistaken.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Violet Dancy 10:57 on July 26, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Hi ,
      There is so much information online about all types of personality disorders. I have one … maybe two 😉
      Might be good to read up and then ask questions.
      To James and anyone else who experience depression. Eating clean and exercising your body can help with almost all.
      Just saying.

      Like

      • Amaterasu Solar 16:09 on August 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        As far as depression goes… I was introduced to Choice Theory over a decade and a half ago. At first I fought the idea that I was choosing My depression – I had suffered frequently from it all My life – wanting to blame Others and life’s situation. I finally relented with an experiment… I started asking Myself why I was choosing to depress. Sometimes I had an answer, most times I had none. Either way, I would follow the question with, “Is there a BETTER choice?” At first the depression went away briefly. After a week, a few hours would go by. At 1 month, I was going days without choosing to depress. Today, I very rarely come close to that choice, and always, My questions disburse the depression immediately.

        You see… We DO choose how We feel by what We think about and HOW We’re thinking about what We choose to think about. I know this is true by another experience. When My father, whom I was very close to, died, I was devastated. Anguishing, crying, even depressing a bit. But when I was at work, deeply focused on it and not thinking about the death of My father, I felt fine… I was thinking about the work, which did NOT bring forth the feelings that thinking about Dad did.

        Hope You can use this information, and I highly recommend looking into Choice Theory (more choice fact, by My results) by William Glasser.

        Like

        • James 14:09 on August 13, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          Funnily enough, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) that I have undergone emphasises the power of choice, and underwrote a lot of the fatalistic “it’s inevitable that you’ll fuck up, you’re a piece of shit” feelings that depression ‘gifts’ you with. You can imagine that a treatment that says “you DO have a choice, you can take control of this” greatly appeals to me and is so far working well.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Mike 11:28 on August 10, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      James. I don’t known if you are what you claim to be. But if you are truly sociopathic, I have a question for you. I suspect my ex partner was a sociopath. When she couldn’t get what she wanted I was dumped cold.
      Said she felt nothing and didn’t love me anymore and didn’t care about me anymore amongst lots of other other typical psycho behaviours. Now my question is whatever I am, I need to get even. How do I do it. She refused to speak so effectively shut me down then played the being stalked victim card. Now she works near me and thinks it’s ok to treat me as a customer if I enter the shop. So I just ignore her. Should I tell her husband his wife who swears to be seoerated yet still living eith him was and still is cheating on him with someone else now ? Or does my insane need for revenge and inability to loose make me a psychopath? How do punish or get even if she’s a sociopath ? (Too many word warp errors on previous mail, cheers )

      Like

      • Amaterasu Solar 19:14 on August 12, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Mike… Did You know She was married before getting into a relationship? If so, that should have been a BIG clue. And if so, You are as much to blame as She is. If it were Me, I’d let it go and pretend You never knew Her when You meet up. But then… I am not a psychopath. [smile]

        Like

    • Mike 21:28 on September 13, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Hello Amaterajjsu. Sorry for taking ages to reply . Yes I knew but she swore she as was seperated.
      Then she had a recurring std but refused to get tested and dumped me cold when I insisted she get a test, I’m furious because she played the not talking card after sending me a birthday text so and I have an acute need to be heard and say my piece. I do ignore her but it’s not making the anger go away yet

      Like

      • Amaterasu Solar 10:12 on September 14, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Well, Mike, try this: when You feel Yourself begin to anger, ask Yourself why You are choosing to anger. Irrespective of whether You get an answer, ask Yourself, “Is there a better choice?” This worked like a charm for Me with depression… I cannot say it will work for You, but it might. Hope that helps. [smile]

        Like

  • GeneticPsychosMom (Tina) 15:32 on April 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,   

    America: Land of the Thief, Home of the Slave |Welcome to the Oligarch Recovery 

    “When they first come in my door in the morning, the first thing I do is an inventory of immediate needs: Did you eat? Are you clean? A big part of my job is making them feel safe,” said Sonya Romero-Smith, a veteran teacher at Lew Wallace Elementary School in Albuquerque. Fourteen of her 18 kindergartners are eligible for free lunches.

    She helps them clean up with bathroom wipes and toothbrushes, and she stocks a drawer with clean socks, underwear, pants and shoes.

    From the Washington Post article: Majority of U.S. Public School Students are in Poverty

    It’s a recovery so lopsided only Timothy Geithner or an oligarch could love it. Since 2008, U.S. economic policy has concentrated on funneling as much money as possible to billionaires, keeping the poor alive and submissive through government programs, and squeezing the middle class to death while at the same time holding out the carrot of hope that things will return to how they were before (they won’t).

    The latest evidence of this monumental cultural theft was highlighted yesterday in the Washington Post. Here are a few excerpts:

    For the first time in at least 50 years, a majority of U.S. public school students come from low-income families, according to a new analysis of 2013 federal data, a statistic that has profound implications for the nation.

    The Southern Education Foundation reports that 51 percent of students in pre-kindergarten through 12th grade in the 2012-2013 school year were eligible for the federal program that provides free and reduced-price lunches. The lunch program is a rough proxy for poverty, but the explosion in the number of needy children in the nation’s public classrooms is a recent phenomenon that has been gaining attention among educators, public officials and researchers.

    A “recent phenomenon.” Call me crazy, but that isn’t what you’d expect five years into a so-called economic recovery.

    “We’ve all known this was the trend, that we would get to a majority, but it’s here sooner rather than later,” said Michael A. Rebell of the Campaign for Educational Equity at Teachers College at Columbia University, noting that the poverty rate has been increasing even as the economy has improved. “A lot of people at the top are doing much better, but the people at the bottom are not doing better at all. Those are the people who have the most children and send their children to public school.”

    Again, this isn’t a economic recovery, it is theft. Until we can admit to ourselves what the idiots and thieves in power have done, nothing will change.

    “When they first come in my door in the morning, the first thing I do is an inventory of immediate needs: Did you eat? Are you clean? A big part of my job is making them feel safe,” said Sonya Romero-Smith, a veteran teacher at Lew Wallace Elementary School in Albuquerque. Fourteen of her 18 kindergartners are eligible for free lunches.

    She helps them clean up with bathroom wipes and toothbrushes, and she stocks a drawer with clean socks, underwear, pants and shoes.

    America: Land of the Thief, Home of the Slave.

    Excerpt from Welcome to the Oligarch Recovery – Majority of Public School Students are in Poverty for First Time in 50 Years by Michael Krieger

     

    Psychopath TEST Politicians

     
    • James 16:04 on April 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Fuck the rich.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Amaterasu Solar 22:18 on April 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Or let Us ALL be rich. This planet has plenty and could blossom under sane and not psychopathic care. Presently We have far too much evidence of psychopathic choices being made, from GMO’s loosed without everyOne’s informed consent, all the nanoparticulates of toxic metals along with biologics being sprayed upon Us without that same consent, fake “news” at all times – Baltimore? Give Me a break! – and all the push to stamp down on Humanity.

        So, what if We used the three things We now have that We didn’t ever in history, that make it possible to put down the accounting for Our energy (money system)? (Well, at least the history We are given…) Robotics, the interweb, and free energy. Yes, I know personally that electrogravitics drew energy from the aether along with offering gravity control. It’s been in black projects since the 1950’s. Energy from the aether is clean, free, available anywhere 24/7 energy.

        What stops Us from sharing awareness that We CAN choose to do things a whole lot better than We are doing them now.

        Withdraw consent from systems that promote psychopaths to power.

        How to Withdraw Consent
        http://tapyoureit.boards.net/thread/37/withdraw-consent

        T.A.P. – You’re It!
        http://tapyoureit.boards.net/thread/2/abundance-paradigm-foundational-writings

        On Twitter @AmaterasuSolar

        “Revolution in ideas, not blood.”

        ♥♥♥

        “Did You give an oath and find it’s bait and switch? Well, there is no oath then, is there?”
        “ALL money systems promote the most psychopathic to the top of the money/power heap – THEY will do ANYTHING to get there.”
        “The ONLY tool They use is money, and I say We can put that down and pick up far better tools.”
        “The love of money is the root of all evil; remove the soil in which the root grows…”
        “If the universe is made of mostly “dark” energy…can We use it to run Our cars?”
        “If You want peace, take the PROFIT out of war.”

        Like

  • GeneticPsychosMom (Tina) 14:20 on April 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , taxes,   

    A Sociopathic System of Institutions and Elites Have Rewritten the Laws 

    Sociopathic Society photo

    Sociopathic individuals in the United States are often successful and well adjusted. Most of them are sane and well educated. They are more likely to be conforming to the values and rules of conduct of a society than violating them.

    The reason? It is the society, it’s rules and values, that are sociopathic.

    So says Charles Derber in his book —Sociopathic Society: A People’s Sociology of the United States (Paradigm Publishers, 2013).

    Derber is a Professor of Sociology at Boston College in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts.

    He is the author of more than 20 books including Corporation Nation: How Corporations are Taking Over Our Lives — and What We Can Do About It.

    “A sociopathic society is one that develops anti-societal rules of behavior,” Derber told Corporate Crime Reporter in an interview last week. “Our whole structure is designed to focus us on biology and personalities and not institutions. We see individuals, we don’t see systems.”

    “In my book, Sociopathic Society, I argue that the intense and frightening way of sociopathic behavior is being carried out by large scale corporations, which are fundamentally sociopathic in their DNA, their charter and the larger market and political economy in which they operate.”

    “The sociopathic behavior is not a reflection of brain chemistry gone awry but of the triumph of a sociopathic system of institutions and elites who have rewritten social norms, rewritten the law, reconfigured the institutional power arena in such an extreme way that they have created a society in which the dominant norms of behavior require sociopathic conduct for survival.”

    Are people who are plugged into a sociopathic society sociopaths?

    “Not all of them,” Derber says.

    If you are a worker for Exxon Mobil, are you a sociopath?

    “ExxonMobil is one of the most sociopathic institutions in the world,” Derber says.

    The fact that they are producing fossil fuels makes them sociopathic?

    “The corporation is sociopathic. The executives who are making the rules and dictating the behavior of the corporation, which is helping to destroy the planet, is sociopathic. The workers are trying to make a living. Some workers, whether in the oil sector or not, don’t have a lot of options. They take what they can get. Is that sociopathic? Is it sociopathic to survive?”

    “This is the dilemma that the sociopathic society creates. The people may not be psychologically disposed to be anti-social, to the environment and to other people. But in order to function within the system they have to hook up with sociopathic institutions and carry out behavior that is destructive and anti-social.”

    “Are they sociopaths? Their behavior contributes to sociopathic ends. But their motives are not necessarily sociopathic. The institution’s DNA is driven by sociopathic imperatives.”

    “Virtually all work in the United States involves association and capitulation to sociopathic companies and rules. And it becomes normalized in sociopathic society.”

    “In the book, I talk about Lance Armstrong being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. And Oprah asked him — did you think you were being a sociopath, were you lying and cheating? And he said — no, I was just doing what staying in the game required. It’s like the norm of the game.”

    “In a sense, Lance Armstrong was telling the truth. You can’t survive as a world class cyclist without being sociopathic. The rules of the game have made it such. You can’t work in America without participating in the sociopathic reality that is corporate America.”

    “Societies can be anti-social. Corporate America is an anti-social beast. It is destroying much of the environment, it is destroying many people’s lives.”

    “There are more and less sociopathic societies. The United States is on the sociopathic high end. It’s corporations have taken such great control over the society and the state.”

    Derber’s next book, due out in February, is titled The Disinherited Majority (Paradigm Publishers, February 2015.)

    It’s about Thomas Piketty’s bestseller — Capital in the Twenty-First Century.

    How does Derber explain the popularity of that book?

    “People recognize that we are becoming a third world system of inequality — the wealth is going to the one percent of the one percent,” Derber says.

    “The vast majority of the rest of the population engages in day to day economic struggle. Piketty captured that general awareness, which had not been fully articulated. He showed that this was a reality that transcended time and place in capitalism. He took data from over 20 countries and over 200 years. He showed that this is the way our system operates. He took this sociopathic inequality and made it clear that it is built into the nature of the system we are living in. The book is not highly theoretical. It’s not highly political. It simply overpowers the reader. He’s a mathematical economist. He puts out reams of carefully organized data from centuries. The Financial Times couldn’t touch him.”

    “Piketty thinks there should be a global tax on wealth. He says taxation is our way of collectively deciding what we want as a society. He’s not a narrow wonk. He’s making a general philosophical point.”

    “Piketty, while he’s a Keynesian New Deal economist, is in effect a radical economist. In effect, he’s saying capitalism is not just a class system, it’s a caste system. As wealth becomes concentrated and increasingly inherited, the translation of that politically is that we have caste classes. Marx said that at least ideologically, capitalism was a liberation from feudalism, from the middle ages, where everyone was locked for life in their position as serf or slaves. The implication of Piketty is that the working class is becoming a caste.”

    “It’s not just if you are born black you will be black for life. It’s that if you are born into the working class poor, which is increasingly the disinherited majority, who don’t inherit wealth, then you are born into that station for life. The American dream, the idea of a meritocracy, the idea that you are going to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, Piketty’s data washes that whole concept away. It shows that you are born into your economic station much as you were in the Middle Ages and you are not going to have much luck in changing that.”

    Derber points out in his writings and teachings that the whole issue can be solved with law and order. Most recently, he makes this point in his book — Capitalism: Should You Buy It?: An Invitation to Political Economy. (Paradigm Publishers, 2014.)

    “Most of my more recent works have focused on what we the people need to do and have the ability to do,” Derber says. “We must restructure the political economy, the legal system. We must return the corporation to a public corporation, created by we the people, accountable to we the people. We created this sociopathic monster. And we have been living with it for the last 100 years. Of course we can change it. It’s a human construction.”

    [For the complete q/a transcript of the Interview with Charles Derber, see 29 Corporate Crime Reporter 1(13), January 15, 2015, print edition only.]

    Excerpt from Charles Derber on Our Sociopathic Society January 2015

    Psychopath TEST Politicians

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