'How to Spot a Pro-Social Psychopath' – the psychopath's response
If you know Tina Taylor’s work, you’re probably familiar with this image:
The full text that goes along with this flashy wolf-man poster can be viewed here (I hope).
In an entirely predictable and possibly excruciating way, I would like to go over each point of the full list, one by one, to give my reaction (“hell yeah, that’s a thing”), explanation (“we do this because of these three brilliant excuses that are totally not made up”) or criticism (“this list is utter shite and it should be burned on a pyre”).
So, without further ado, let the reactioning commence!
1. Be sensitive to contradictions.Yeah, she started with a strong point did our Tina. Not only is it something every psychopath does, it’s something most people don’t notice. Seriously! Without pausing for breath or changing the tone of my voice, I can hop from saying one thing to just the opposite and I’ve only been called out on it a handful of times. It sounds ridiculous, because it makes people who fall for it seem idiotic, but I guarantee it’s been done to you numerous times and you never realised.
2. Double-check their (tsunami of) stories. This one’s a zinger too. Many people are very chatty. Some people are so chatty that they’re always talking the most in any given conversation. And if you listen, just a bit, you realise most of what they’re saying is bullshit. Many of these people are psychopaths. But you can be a motormouth and a bullshitter without being a psychopath (someone in school fit this mould exactly, spouting on about how he’d been born on an aeroplane and how he was the heir to the throne of Scotland, to cover up the fact he was a pathetic little slug whom nobody liked). And you can also be a psychopath without being God’s gift to hogging all the oxygen. Me, for example. In social situations, I’m usually quiet. I observe, take stock. Then in one-to-one or small group situation I use what I learned to my advantage. I don’t create a load of histrionic hot air and I don’t like people who do.
3. Pay attention to the quick lane changes in conversation. Hooey, I can’t keep up with all these metaphors. When you want to control somebody, or impress them, conversation is all about shock-and-awe, razzle-dazzle, sparkle-glarkle (I might have made that one up) and that can involve rapidly changing the subject. Again, this isn’t necessarily indication of a psychopath but could easily be somebody with ADHD or any manner of personality disorder.
At this point, you may have noticed the numbering’s all over the shop. It looks absolutely fine in my special edit-only version, counting from 1 to 3 in a linear fashion, but for whatever reason in the finished article it’s all screwed up. I haven’t tried too hard to fix it, as I think it goes nicely with the general blogging incompetence I have exhibited thus far.
4. Look for cold, “robotic” reactions to what should be emotionally troublesome events. Tidal waves, lack of lane discipline, now robots. What will it take for the metaphors to cease? Anyway, these so-called ‘robotic’ reactions arise from confusion. We don’t worry / care about the same things as you guys and it’s sometimes hard enough to understand why you behave the way you do, let alone work out what we’re supposed to be doing. Any expression of e.g. empathy comes not from within, but from what I’ve seen others do, from television and from literature. Even if the performance is a bit off, instead of focusing the negative, why not think positively? “Well they may be a crummy actor but at least they like me enough to pretend to care.” Think about it; when stricken with grief over the death of your mother or houseplant, wouldn’t you rather be faced with a clumsy attempt at empathy than a wall of ice?
5. Track each time they bug you with questions about how you would act in certain (off the wall) situations: “What would you do if I…fill in the blank”. Alright, this is odd. I don’t recall ever having asked such a question, at least not with the obsessive regularity implied here. But if we accept that some psychopaths are like this, I can tell you why. You see, you and your inner worlds of emotion and insecurity are a fascinating mystery to us, to be admired just as often as scorned. When psychopaths ask these sorts of questions, or when you feel like their eyes are shooting lasers into your skull, it’s because they’re trying to get to know you. Not just superficially, but really understand you on a psychological level Anyway, why ask, when you can just take action and see what happens?
6. Take note of their scapegoating; usually associated with assigning blame, psychopaths also expertly assign credit where little or none is due. Agreed. I take exception to one of the supplementary claims though, “It’s all lies regardless”. No, psychopaths often call it exactly as they see it. The challenge for you is to discern the lies from the truth. That is admittedly difficult and easily explains why so many don’t bother and just go with the “it’s all lies” option. But those who persevere can find that home truths from a psychopaths are usually very perceptive indeed and will help you to see yourself more clearly.
7. Analyze their desire to move quickly into a close relationship; calling you endearing terms right away, insisting that you should freely bring them into your circle of trust, wanting you to share living quarters or share a business venture very soon after meeting. This. One thousand times this. So much this that I already posted about this the other week. I mean, I can’t blame you, we talk a good talk, and I like to say I have one of those faces to which people want to blurt out all their secrets, but still YOU’RE AN ADULT HUMAN WITH A BIG BRAIN AND FREE WILL! If you ignore everything you were told when you were 4 and trust a complete stranger with your money, your belongings or your life just because they have a nice smile and lots of candy in their van, you’re a sucker and you deserve everything that’s coming to you.
8. Observe the “Poor Me, I’m the Victim” tone and words that they use to get your sympathy, which can fool you into being controlled/manipulated by them and giving them stuff (time, special favors, gifts…) Yeah. Let me ask you to put yourself in the shoes of another for a minute. If you had this amazing power to cry on cue, turn on the puppy dog eyes at a stroke, come up with any lie on the spot and mimic any emotion of your choosing, can you honestly say you wouldn’t use it to get free stuff?
9. Notice a pattern of hot-cold-hot-cold-hot attraction and attention to you. This is all well and good, but if it’s got to this stage already, you’re probably too far gone. You are the puppet (and the muppet) so you might as well allow your strings to be pulled until you’re cut loose. God, now I’m doing metaphors. Clichéd ones too. Anyway it’s more of a “hot-cold-hot-warm-hot-cold-hot-hot-hot-icy-hot-cold-chill-hot-tepid-cold-cold-hot-cold-scalding” pattern.
10. Be wary of their number of claims that “There was a misunderstanding”, because they know that phrase restores your trust, and eases their way past you catching them in a lie.
Phew, that’s over.
Oh no, wait, it isn’t. There are some extra warnings for your apparent safety.
- Never give your trust freely. Beware anyone who asks you to do so. Trust must be earned. Duhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- The most overlooked sign of psychopathy is “Eerily calm demeanor”. Is it indeed? How does this gel with the overexcited storyteller painted a few lines up?
- Do not confront a psychopath about your discovery of their psychopathy. That would be like backing a wild animal into a corner. That’s right. Know your place, empath fool; we’re super scary, and shit. Rawr.
- Be careful of confiding in their “nice” family members, since psychopathy is genetic. In other words, we’re everywhere! Bwahahahaha!
If you kept with me ’til the end, thanks for reading. You deserve a nice pat on the back. Unfortunately, you’re thousands of miles away, so the best I can offer is this picture of one dog patting another dog. Heartwarming, eh?
Human 11:38 on June 28, 2015 Permalink |
Brilliant! Immensely educational and superbly entertaining.
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James 11:42 on June 28, 2015 Permalink |
Thank you, Human, that’s very kind.
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BEWARE THE PSYCHOPATH, MY SON | No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges 08:03 on July 28, 2015 Permalink |
[…] 'How to Spot a Pro-Social Psychopath' – the psychopath's response […]
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‘How to Spot a Pro-Social Psychopath’ | PARENTS HEALING FROM ESTRANGEMENT- #PAS 09:54 on September 20, 2015 Permalink |
[…] https://nopsychos.wordpress.com/2015/06/28/spot-a-pro-social-psychopath-the-psychopaths-response/ […]
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‘How to Spot a Pro-Social Psychopath’ – the psychopath’s response | hippygurl61's Blog 14:55 on October 29, 2015 Permalink |
[…] Source: ‘How to Spot a Pro-Social Psychopath’ – the psychopath’s response […]
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Anonymous 09:44 on January 9, 2016 Permalink |
Hmm well written in parts
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James 10:49 on January 9, 2016 Permalink |
And badly written in others, right? 🙂
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Ideas 12:33 on January 9, 2016 Permalink |
Nice! I stumbled upon this just now. I like it man. I mean, I’m supposed to hate you and all hah, but I don’t. (Bad break up.. totally taken for a fool.. so I’m still fucking bitter and damaged dammit!!) In the same way our empathy intrigue/annoys you.. I feel the same of -paths. Which brings me to a question, but first, you specifically, I think what I like, from ‘you’ in this article, is that you’re not delusional. I think the worst -paths are those who can’t see themselves ‘well’, destruct, somehow settle out, and repeat.. poor bastards and your patterns.. but you have grasp. Commendable. Back to my question.. If I were a cold blooded, calculated, always switched-on, robot in a humans shell.. I’d be ultra successful. So how is there any excuse not to? It’s “fun to win” and get it going this looong drawn out process of taking someone elses? But then not only do you look pathetic, you are pathetic, literally. A parasitic organism. Not ‘better than human’. That contradicts your ability. I’m not saying be a philanthropist, but for fuck sake make your own car payments lol. Low functioning vs. High functioning, whatever you want to call it.. Maybe In just a socio/psychopath elitist.. you should be something … or else you’re just wasting it!!!
I want to enjoy my -pathic ex. But she’s too weak to be confronted and not freak out(been 4 months, 0 contact, 0 meeting, just poof, gone. But i know where she is obviously lol). I could be her ally.. we could do some pretty sweet stunts 😉 .. can we not all see the resource -paths are???! I’d pay for that service.. like they’d honor it 😄
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James 17:24 on January 9, 2016 Permalink |
I’m not your ex, so no need to hate me, man 🙂
I really enjoyed reading your comment. I agree, that we could be a lot more useful than people think, and certainly more useful than most of us are! I’m just a humble student, so I’ve got a long way to go before making any major ripples, but rest assured my sights are set higher than human leech. Trouble is, I’m proud of being a parasite on (currently) my parents, and on other people before that, though I have also taken pride in earning my own wages as well. Basically, I’m just proud (or full of myself, I guess!!!)
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HB 12:56 on January 9, 2016 Permalink |
What makes them act this way? Abuse in childhood? ??
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@GeneticPsycho (Tina) 01:27 on January 10, 2016 Permalink |
Brain defect. Psychopathy is a lack of conscience – a neurological impairment of the amygdala, orbital frontal cortex, all of cingulate cortex, parahippocampal area, and insula.
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James 05:41 on January 10, 2016 Permalink |
(This is one theory among several, and not necessarily the correct one, but to me it seems the most likely)
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@GeneticPsycho (Tina) 06:20 on January 10, 2016 Permalink |
It’s not a mystery, it’s a fact proven in 2005. For 11 years, the neuroscience community has known, yet the psychiatric community does not make the data well-known to the public. My take is that the APA creates that mystery because it’s corrupt, and hiding the psychopaths in control of that organization and others. And we all know that what the Americans want, we get, so that worldwide ignorance is enforced.
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James 07:58 on January 10, 2016 Permalink |
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GeneticPsychosMom (Tina) 21:23 on February 6, 2017 Permalink |
What draws psychopaths to this cartoon clip? My ex-husband showed this to me a long time ago.
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James 21:57 on February 6, 2017 Permalink |
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GeneticPsychosMom (Tina) 22:00 on February 6, 2017 Permalink |
lol. Aaaaand he was a major X-Files Fan
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James 22:01 on February 6, 2017 Permalink |
I’m just watching it for the first time, really getting into it.
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Zachary 07:30 on May 27, 2017 Permalink |
I’m sorry but that’s possibly the dumbest thing that I’ve ever heard. All we see is reduced brain activity in particular parts of the brain that are thought to be responsible for emotion/empathy. Of course, we only know what parts are responsible for what actions because we observed the brain activity there. Remember that correlation is not indicative of causation. Barely anything is psychology is “proven.”
Don’t even get me started on your conspiracy theories. Don’t blame some large association like the APA for your blunt mental acuity.
Next you’re going to tell me that Black Lives Matter is a legitimate peace movement.
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GeneticPsychosMom (Tina) 09:00 on May 27, 2017 Permalink |
Read again – it says “my take” – this means my opinion on the APA. It may be a conspiracy theory, which may make me alone in this opinion of the psychiatric community. Your opinion may differ. So what. You get no argument from me because neither of us is going to take the time to interview any of the heads of the APA to discover the truth.
I focus on the NEUROLOGICAL research on psychopathy – not the field of psychology. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=psychopathy+brain
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hippygurl61 09:43 on January 10, 2016 Permalink |
Reblogged this on hippygurl61's Blog.
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Can a Psychopath be “Good?” | kiasherosjourney 00:15 on January 22, 2016 Permalink |
[…] significance of the “pro social” has been discussed and debated by Tina Taylor and James and myself. The gist is that Tina thinks psychopaths are destructive whatever role we play in […]
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The Recovery Movement | kiasherosjourney 17:33 on February 1, 2016 Permalink |
[…] Taylor’s No Psychos/No Druggies/No Stooges blog. She is much more acceptable than most as she offers psychopaths a voice in her own blog. Coming from a family that was mostly psychopathic, she is something of an anomaly, being not one […]
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Webster Reid 19:00 on April 15, 2016 Permalink |
I don’t think you’re a psychopath, I reckon you’re a narcissist with relatively shallow affect and a tendency to externalise fantasy. Actually, maybe that’s what a psychopath is. I always felt classing them as some sort of separate breed lurking amongst us, conspiring against us appeals to drama but might not necessarily be the most pragmatic way of analysing what appears to be a cluster of mental health problems. Not to mention the obvious overlap with autistic spectrum disorders. I feel the film ” American Asperger’s” wouldn’t sell as many tickets though. Fairly good article though. But would a clever psychopath react to an accusation of psychopathy with rage? Remember most aren’t as self-aware as you.
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@GeneticPsycho (Tina) 19:46 on April 15, 2016 Permalink |
It’s really hard to tell if someone is a psychopath. Especially since they are usually calmer than most folks, and the rest of us tend to admire that. The best way to tell is when they start trolling and acting childish.
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James 15:28 on April 25, 2016 Permalink |
Your theory is as good as any I’ve heard. The truth is, I don’t know whether I am a psychopath or not. All I know is I have a certain set of personality traits, some of which are psychopathic, others of which are symptoms of other mental disorders (most prominently depression and, certainly, narcissism) and some of which are just my unique traits as a person.
“Fairly good article though.” Thank you. That was a fairly good comment 🙂
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Ludiel 16:56 on July 1, 2016 Permalink |
I’ve been making some introspective study latetly that’s why I got into this article. All these point describes perfectly my attitudes. I don’t consider myself a bad person but I do this things without thinking is just something natural to me
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Haley 10:18 on December 17, 2016 Permalink |
How to stop one?
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@GeneticPsycho (Tina) 10:54 on December 17, 2016 Permalink |
Psychopathy is a neurological disorder. Science has not yet found a way to repair brain disorders. They only defense we have is to spot them among us so they don’t get a chance to pull their scams. Education of the masses.
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Zachary 07:38 on May 27, 2017 Permalink |
You and I seem a lot alike, James. Ever your style of writing is eerily similar to my own. I was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder a few years back. This was around after i grew out of killing cats.
I must say that you’ve very aptly described people with our condition and I find it quite admirable that you’re so open about it. I don’t get to meet many people like us (at least in situations where both of us are open about it). As it turns out, me learning about what I was helped me immensely. Understanding the reason why the emptiness we feel truly makes it feel less bottomless. The boredom, the frustration, and even the numbness are being redirected into something productive.
Instead of doing something stupid like murdering someone, I’ve enlisted in the army instead.
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James 12:07 on May 30, 2017 Permalink |
You can murder lots of people in the army too, but they give you medals and shit rather than a prison sentence; win win. Have fun.
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Ni 11:28 on June 18, 2017 Permalink |
Ok, so the metal things, the psychopaths are the Dalek and Bender? But if Bender is a robot then can it also be a psychopath?
Quite a few of your responses to Tina’s list are amusing as well as interesting, thank you.
The list, well it seems a bit general, not necessarily applying to just sociopaths or just psychopaths.
The list if all bits are required to be included together, well maybe this could describe a not very astute sociopath?
I’m amused at the use of the dog photo for the pat on the head for us readers. Dog on left is demonstrating “The Paw Of Dominance” over dog on the right, right? You knew this and chose this on purpose methinks – bahahahaha, funny!
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James 13:34 on June 18, 2017 Permalink |
Hi, Ni, and welcome. Great comment!
Bender and the Dalek are indeed the definite psychopaths (the other possibilities is the stormtrooper – but we can’t tell just by looking at him – and WALL-E; he’s obviously up to something, but what?). Perhaps neither Bender nor the Dalek can meet a strict criteria for being a psychopath, since neither are human beings and psychopathy is described variously as a personality disorder or as a symptom of brain damage. However, I’m a behaviourist at heart, so I defer to their actions and attitudes which are clearly psychopathic by human standards.
The list is certainly too general for my tastes, though to defend Tina, it is simply a guide advising monkeys how to spot possible psychopaths in their midsts, rather than a formal list of diagnostic criteria.
Would I use a sickeningly cute photo of dog to subtly mock the power dynamic that exists between myself and my readers?
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Billy 10:37 on June 22, 2017 Permalink |
I’m scared of discovering that I’m a psychopath
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James 16:15 on June 22, 2017 Permalink |
That’s one of the hallmark signs of being a psychopath.
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Anonymous 16:37 on September 28, 2017 Permalink |
you are a piece of shit and you don’t care. right my friend? it makes you even bigger piece of shit
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James 16:43 on September 28, 2017 Permalink |
Say that to my face. You’d shit your pants, “someone”.
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devilorangel 09:43 on October 10, 2017 Permalink |
I find some of these traits desirable. even admirable. .e.g. Calm under pressure. Who wouldn’t want that? or more of that. I can’t be the only one. it seems an advantageous position to be in..somewhat.
The insensitivity to pain. boldness. fearlessness. etc. In my estimation these are positive traits. And something I wish I could cultivate.
The sadistic part not so much. I have no need to kill unless I am defending myself. that’s the other side of the coin. the reason the prisons are full. poor impulse control. bad decisions. ruined lives.
Anybody can snap and act psychopathically. Somebody threatens your family e.g. But to walk around 24/7 in that state. I wouldn’t call them a piece of shit. that’s being…emotional. childish. if someone’s amygdala is detached. there’s nothing that can be done. that’s the cards they were dealt. They are clearly the predators of the species. dangerous, sure. but a natural phenomena like anything else. To be feared. sure. To be understood. definitely. To be judged and condemned? I’ll leave that to the courts.
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James 04:25 on October 11, 2017 Permalink |
Far too much common sense in this comment.
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straightorcrooked 17:23 on October 15, 2017 Permalink |
I stumbled back to this site again…I guess psychopathology is on my mind..
“Common sense” ha. nice ambiguous term there.
I read that reply. 1st impression: is this a sly put down? or is just a straight statement of agreement. Who can tell.
2nd impression: maybe I’m reading into things. preconceptions at work. but then again who takes the words of a professed psychopath at face value?
I guess due to context. what would normally be regarded as an innocent and trivial, was regarded with suspicion and scepticism and of possible double meaning and hidden connotation.
All this due to a simple underlying logic. An accumulation of facts built up into a image. James is Psychopath. Psychopaths are disingenuous. James is disingenuous.
Well, that’s how a non-psychopath viewed you… in that particular instant.
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James 18:31 on October 15, 2017 Permalink |
I like your logic.
There you go, another seemingly simple statement for you to obsess over.
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bunny foo foo 20:03 on October 27, 2017 Permalink |
Do you think a psychopath could see the benefit of utilizing cognitive empathy……since we all live in this planet? Our governments and corporations are run by psychopaths and the abuse is rampant and detrimental to the species since trauma shrinks the brain and in all honesty those who lack empathy are a special kind of stupid. Why can they not see that it is to their advantage to give a shit about others even if it’s for the selfish reason of reducing the bullshit they get from people in the long term. Plus it would increase the average IQ and improve everyone’s living conditions. Why wouldn’t a psychopath want that? Can’t you learn to use your abilities for good?
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James 12:01 on October 31, 2017 Permalink |
You’re right. Some of us are intelligent enough to realise this, and modify our behaviour accordingly.
However, sometimes old habits die hard, and we are only human. I have recently done some stuff which definitely wasn’t part of the plan to “be good” and in the longer run has proved destructive for myself as well as others; at the time, though, it was just fun to let loose and cause a bit of destruction. Yes, fun.
What you have to understand is the majority of psychopaths have, to a greater or lesser degree, a sadistic streak, and all crave regular stimulation and excitement. So, unfortunately, conflict is inevitable, even with psychopaths who have a desire to be more conscientious.
I’m not saying it’s not my fault. I still have a free will and the ability to make rational decisions, but when making decisions that are in the interests of everyone, I am fighting against my instincts and genetic programming.
If you want to understand what that’s like, try to imagine yourself doing something which you think immoral, say kicking a puppy while wearing heavy boots, or deliberately saying something to make your mother cry. If you have any sort of imagination, you can probably feel some sort of discomfort just at the thought, as though your body and mind are already resisting the actions which don’t come naturally to you. It’s difficult attempting to be something you’re not, even for a while.
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Hatetheweak 21:49 on July 2, 2018 Permalink |
This person is not a psychopath they are an emotionally retarded fat chick that wants to be unique so they are playing a role and telling themselves it’s real.
To the “psychopath” in this article please just answer these two questions.
1) are you female?
2) Are you fat? (Full figured is fat)
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James 19:52 on August 11, 2018 Permalink |
Oh yes, I’m a fat bitch named James. You found me out, have a cookie. Oh wait… I need that cookie to snack on, cos I’m fat.
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