Everyday narcissism
In which a psychopath laughs as some empathetic people show off their inner narc.
“We all go a little bit mad sometimes”, so said the totally non-psycho Psycho Norman Bates. I had managed to reach my 20th year without ever having the twist to Hitchcock’s horror classic spoiled, so was genuinely gobsmacked when ‘Mother’ finally showed up. If nothing else, Norm taught us that under every seemingly normal person’s façade, there could be some craziness hidden deep.
Except sometimes it’s not very well hidden, and is not usually at the level of stabbing women in the bath, or similar depths of depravity. Most commonly, it shows itself as narcissistic dickishness.
You know the type I mean, he takes delight in getting one over on you, and loves nothing better than a nice gloat, while cackling away like a horny witch. Or is that just me?
The point is, we are living in an increasingly narcissistic society. We need to have the latest iPhone, the best clothes, the biggest, coolest / most environmentally-friendly car (depending on your clique); we take selfies, and our online worth is decided entirely on how many ‘likes’ we get. But there are still some instances of inflated ego that come from otherwise normal people, which can make even me stop and stare.
Such as the people who take it upon themselves to talk badly about people they don’t know, judging others based on no evidence whatsoever except it feels good to tear them down. This can come in the form of cyberbullying (teenagers are actually killing themselves over comments from strangers online), street harassment (we’ve all seen the videos: ‘woman walks through NYC‘, ‘Jew walks through Paris‘), or even just a series of idiotic comments on social media (such as deciding to push a string of nonsensical, depraved and increasingly desperate arguments attempting to undermine the credibility of others, for two entire days, while allegedly being a busy young mother and student) that are all about one person putting another down in order to feel better about themselves.
Or people who engage in ‘mine’s bigger than yours’ dick-swinging. At a recent dinner party, my father (not a narc or an ‘opath) made a bit of a fool of himself bragging about how much pension he is paid. He went on to say knowingly that for a good meal at a fancy restaurant, “we’re talking up to £40 per head”, which is about 57€ or US $61. Someone else chipped in that such an amount is “chicken feed” and that for his wife’s 60th birthday, he had forked out £150 (in total, so depending on the number of people the actual per head ratio might have been much smaller than 40 quid. Even £75 each for two of them, while on the expensive side, is not exactly going to get you the Ritz treatment). My dad, keen not to be outdone even though the guy was obviously just trying to mock him, spluttered “well the really good place near us, the hotel, I’ve taken Julie (my mum) and James there and I’ve often paid £300 for just one meal”, which is absurd and untrue. How stupid and petty. But it is, nonetheless, a funny example of people trying to outdo one another over money.
Or the people who exploit worthy causes to make themselves look better. You know the type I mean. They share and re-share the same viral posts from ‘social justice warriors’ and hate on and shame those with differing opinions. Feminism, anti-racism, sexual and gender freedom… equality in general, these are good things, but they become tainted when they are hijacked by people who care not about the issues, but about showing how enlightened and superior they are.
That is why some of these ‘progressives’ are so aggressive to anyone with differing opinions, because to argue with them causes narcissistic injury that must be dealt with. Would anybody who really cared about equality and diversity viciously attack people who see things differently to them? They’re the same idiots whose profile pictures are now overlayed with a transparent version of the French flag to show how much they ‘care’ about “Paris’ suffering” (not, you know, the suffering of people who were caught up in the attacks, but the imagined suffering of an inanimate city, the idealistic Gai Paris of schmaltzy stereotype), when in reality they only care about boosting their own image by claiming to empathise with the current in vogue ‘problem’. Want proof? Here’s two for the price of one:
(1) Few or none of them said anything about what happened to the Russian passenger jet which was shot down over Egypt, and no-one turned their profile pic into a Russian flag. Think of any other recent tragedy, and repeat.
(2) The Tricolore of solidarity is superimposed over these people’s own faces. They are saying not “Vive la France et à bas la tyrannie*”, but rather “look how sensitive and in-touch I am, and blue, white and red goes really well with my hair, I wonder how many likes this will earn me?”
Are these people self-aware? Some probably are; they are the true narcissists of this world. The bulk, just ordinary people, are not. They genuinely believe their own shit smells sweeter, because they have never stopped to think about their actions.
Even worse are those smug superior people who view themselves as above it all, specifically making fun of delusional types, for cheap ‘likes’, ‘shares’ and an ego boost of “At least I’m not like that. I don’t take myself so seriously. I have taste. I have standards. I am so much better than everyone else, and just to prove it I’m going to write a fine old diatribe, a rant if you will, against everyday narcissism. Then I’m going to put it on my blog about psychopaths, and show everyone how totally cool and non-hypocritical I am. I wonder how many of my little pawns will read it…”
Chers lecteurs, chères lectrices, avant de laisser vos commentaires, veuillez vous détendre un peu avec Monsieur Joe Dassin, et penser à ceux qui ont souffert aux mains de mal :
*”Long live France and down with tyranny”, in case you were snoozing in French class.
NB: I have been to Auschwitz and never once thought of taking a selfie. Do I get to brag about that too?
nowve666 13:01 on November 18, 2015 Permalink |
Good one, James.
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alpheuswilliams 19:12 on November 18, 2015 Permalink |
Mea Culpa. I’m one of those who posted my photo with the Tri-Colour diaphonized over it. Gees, never realised what a self-indulgent and narcissistic prick it made me. But then again, maybe I can use it against those I know who I think are genuinely nice people simply expressing their support for Paris because FB made it easy for them to do so and not so when the Russian plane was shot down. I guess there is some defence in the fact that the details about how the plane went down were not really revealed until a few days later. And wow…I am one of those who blogged about the psychopathy in corporate executives. Sorry James, I’m not having a good day…I’ll just walk out for a moment gaze in the mirror and swing my dick. That should make me feel better! 🙂
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James 20:06 on November 18, 2015 Permalink |
Nice to see you getting into the spirit of things.
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Marney Ogle 22:45 on November 19, 2015 Permalink |
Yeah, I’m pretty schmaltzy and superficial by having the French flag on my idiot profile picture. I also happened to have majored in that language in college because I love languages and was fortunate enough to study in France, work there and marry a very nice Frenchman to whom I was a really lame wife. I had innumerable wonderful cultural and social opportunities replete with indescribably delicious educational and experiential delights which I recognize I am quite privileged to have lived. The French people I encountered and came to know and love, through work, through my in-laws and friends enriched my life, changed me for the better, expanded my view of things and have left me with unforgettable, amazing memories that I now treasure. But yeah, I’m probably just throwing that flag up there to make myself look cool and trendy. Yeah.
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@GeneticPsycho (Tina) 23:27 on November 19, 2015 Permalink |
Why does nobody care about the hundreds of drone bomb beheadings and innocent lives taken by the 8,296 airstrikes this year?
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James 00:46 on November 20, 2015 Permalink |
My point. It’s all very well caring about Paris, but it means nothing when you don’t give a fuck about Beirut or Ankara or Gaza, or any other place having the shit bombed out of it.
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NINA 07:08 on November 25, 2015 Permalink |
dear James,
You claim that the people that put the french flag in their fb profil are narcissistic. How do you know this? you know their personal history , their soul and the emotions of each one ? i do not think that you are aware of their motivation.
isn’t it an assumption this that you make? and in the same time a generalisation? personally i do not consider assumptions and generalisations neither fair nor intelligent.
Also , about your argument that if someone puts the french flag it means nothing if he doesnt care about Beirut or Ancara or Gaza.
Firstly, you do not know if anyone cares or doesnt care about other regions of the planet where atrocities happen just becouse he put only the French flag in his profil. He might very well care.
But , even if he does care less where exactly it is the problem? maybe somebody identifies more with the Paris attack becouse he happen to be European or nevouse he has visited Paris or becouse he likes French culture or becouse he has friends there. Humans who have empathy happen to connect with each other in variable degrees according to the emotional connection they feel. It is normal i think and common in human race.
i am more sad when my kid suffers than when a stranger. Some individuals who develop and evolve so much their souls may feel the same connection with everything alive!! this is marvellous but rare. This doesnt mean that the majority af the people are to be convicted as liars or narcissist becouse they have variable degrees of empathy.
If so , what about you that you have no empathy at all and you do not really care about anybody as it is the definition of a psycopath that you claim that you are??
we should convict or blame you? i do not think so.
NINA
PS, Sorry for the possible errors in grammar and syntactic, i am not a native speaker for english.
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James 12:40 on November 27, 2015 Permalink |
Hi Nina. Thanks for your comment. Of course it’s a generalisation, I know not every single person putting up a French flag is a hypocrite or a narcissist. I also have faith in my readers’ intelligence that they will not mistake a generalisation for a fact.
My point was that the majority of people making a big noise about the Paris attacks have not done the same about previous attacks, recent or otherwise have taken place in less ‘important’ parts of the world, and will not do when the next big attack comes that is not on American or European soil.
I am European. I love French culture; I used to live in France and I will move back when I get the chance. I have visited Paris. And I have friends there. But none of that makes what happened in Paris any more of a tragedy than what happened in Beirut, Ankara and Egypt.
There is also a certain amount of satire in my article which perhaps you didn’t pick up on since English isn’t your native language. I have a hard time understanding humour in French, my second language, so I understand it can be difficult. I am not calling for these people to be convicted as anything, I’m just making fun of what I see as hypocrisy and as otherwise empathetic people showing their narcissistic side.
P.S. your English is very good; I hardly noticed any mistakes at all.
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James 12:43 on November 27, 2015 Permalink |
Speaking of mistakes:
“My point was that the majority of people making a big noise about the Paris attacks DID NOT DO the same OVER previous attacks, recent or otherwise, THAT have taken place in less ‘important’ parts of the world, and will not do AGAIN when the next big attack not on American or European soil STRIKES.”
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James 00:44 on November 20, 2015 Permalink |
Me and you both, Marney (though I didn’t find a French hubbie, more’s the pity). I wonder why you take this article so personally, when I’m quite sure we’ve never met. Surely you recognise that I am not talking in absolutes here?
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ameliasleepallday 01:10 on March 21, 2016 Permalink |
Est-ce que tu parles français ou c’est juste Google Translate? But anyways as an African, you grow accustomized to people not giving a shit about you mostly. Africa was exploited for centuries and then left into shadows for the world to forget. I’m not here to whine about it, the strong will always survive no matter what situation they are confronted with they will find a way out, but those kind of attacks are almost daily stuff now in my home country Nigeria. Women and girls are kidnapped then forced to become wives or sex slaves by Boko Haram, an Islamic group from the north who wants to take over Nigeria for its oil. Universities, Malls, primary schools exploded with hundred of deaths but we had our moment of ”glory” only for a few announcements on the TV when an American tourist was involved. People don’t really care about others they mostly care about what is thrown upon them to care about. They are so easy to manipulate, I wonder if they even have a spine to stand for themselves. #prayforparis #LetMeTakeASelfie #LoveMyself……Les gens suivent, ils suivent n’importe quoi qui leur semble être en vogue pour le moment mais le pire dans tous ça, c’est qu’il croivent que c’est leur ‘personnalité, ‘leur propre choix, leur propre fashion et qu’ils sont tellement unique et originale. I’m not here to insult people but i’m mostly dissapointed to see what evolution has brought us to.
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James 16:35 on March 24, 2016 Permalink |
Bah oui, je parle français; j’ai vécu en France pendant une année.
Je n’ai jamais suivi la mode, et ceux qui en font me dégoûtent… ben, un petit peu… Tout le monde se croit unique, bien qu’ils soient tous les mêmes.
Et toi, tu n’es pas tentée d’accepter la vie selon les Boko Harams ? Ca pourrait changer des choses, non ?
#PrayForBrussels, hahahahaha!
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Francesleepallday 16:45 on April 2, 2017 Permalink |
Encule-toi avec tes Boko Harams
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James 14:08 on April 4, 2017 Permalink |
Putain de merde, il a de grosses couilles, ce connard ! Sois plus gentil, ou dégage-toi.
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