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  • James 15:58 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: alcoholism, , , family, , , , , , , , , , , , PTSD   

    Meet the parents of a psychopath 

    Since I’ve just spent the week in the company of my parents, and had the intention to write about them anyway, what better time than right now?

    My father was one of these.

    They primarily came to move some of my belongings home to England (I won’t be here for much longer) but out of that they gained a vacation in France with their beloved son. On top of that, further gains for me were: free accommodation in a pleasant rural setting and free food and alcohol for a week including several restaurant meals, which are unspeakably good round these parts.

    As I write, they are still in the country but are driving up to the coast to catch the ferry. They left about 3 hours before the time of writing, and although I spent about 20 minutes mourning their departure, I no longer miss them. Instead, I’m looking ahead to the next month or so and the plans I have.

    Anyway, my parents. I still have two of them, though at nearly 60 years old they’re getting on a bit. My mother is a geographer, loves gardening, books and I struggle to think of a third thing. She’s a pushover. My father is a former guard of the Queen, war veteran, and retired police officer. He’s also an alcoholic, a PTSD sufferer and has a very nasty temper. I have a mixed relationship with my dad; we can go from joking to fighting to cold silence in the space of an afternoon. The relationship between my mother and I is much more stable and as a consequence is closer, though I lie to and manipulate both of them equally.

    Because I don’t miss them for long when they’re not around, I don’t keep in touch as often as they’d like, in fact one of my favourite games is to set a specific time to call or skype and then not show up, subsequently ignoring all texts, phone calls and emails for weeks until they think I’ve died or am in trouble.

    My mother likes these.

     

    In general, however, it pays to keep them on my side:

    • Parents are the biggest supporters you’ll ever get and perhaps the only people you can rely on to be selfless most of the time.
    • They do all sorts of useful favours and jobs and expect little or nothing in return. And they can’t replace me! A psychopath’s dream…
    • They teach life lessons. From my mum, I have learned patience, co-operation, negotiation and temper control. Thanks to her, I will (probably) never go to prison. From my dad, I have learned manipulation, persuasion, cooking and all sorts of interesting tips for criminal activity, as well as physical and psychological torture. Thanks to him, I will (probably) be successful in life.
    • They give me money, almost without question. And the Bank of Dad doesn’t recall its debts.
    • Despite everything, I do love them. Not in the same way as you love your parents and certainly not in the way they love me. While my dad would “walk over hot coals” and mum would “do anything” for me, I would, to quote myself like a true narcissist, “greatly inconvenience myself to save my mother’s life”. That probably doesn’t sound like much, but it’s more than I would do for anyone else. What is love anyway?

    P.S. While I was finishing this off, I got a quick phone call to say my folks have arrived at the ferry port. It was good-natured and polite. I lied at least twice in the 2 minutes we were talking. 

    How would you feel if you had a psychopath for a son? How would you mould and guide him? Would he make you proud of his success or ashamed of his crimes? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

     

     
    • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 16:00 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      James, why did you tag your post “child abuse”?

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      • James 16:03 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        “He’s also an alcoholic, a PTSD sufferer and has a very nasty temper.” – You do the maths, sweetie.

        Liked by 1 person

        • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 17:05 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          My daughter (a psychopath) tells people she was abused at home. She gets people to sympathize with her based on lies. People don’t bother to ask the parents about it, do they? When my daughter was in high school, she would write papers about herself that were complete fabrications. At the time I didn’t know she was a psychopath, and it was bewildering – why would she paint her family in such a bad light? Now I know. People are easier to use if they feel sorry for you.

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          • James 17:19 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            What your daughter does / did is no concern of mine. If I wanted sympathy, I would have made a big thing out of it. Everything I just wrote is true, except that being nearly 60 is not really “getting on a bit”, that was a light-hearted remark.

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            • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 18:05 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              Did not write that part for you. I was not suggesting that you want sympathy from this article. I also was not suggesting that you were lying. I was simply writing my experience since I had nothing else to say.

              Liked by 1 person

              • James 18:08 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                Leaving your comment in reply to mine indicated you were in fact talking to / about me, but since that was not your intention it was just a misunderstanding.

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            • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 18:22 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              This comment is for you. You said what my daughter does/did is no concern of yours, yet your question at the end of the article asks about people’s children. Are you specifically looking for hypotheticals? You know I find it funny when you contradict yourself.

              Liked by 1 person

              • James 18:34 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                And please do continue to point it out when I do, won’t you? 😀

                Yes, I am specifically looking for hypothetical sons, NOT daughters…

                In all serious, what I meant by “is no concern of mine” was “has nothing to do with me”. I was attempting to distance myself from your daughter’s blatant lack of respect for you because, as you know, I thought you were implying I was lying. Now we have established you were doing no such thing, the comment about your daughter can be recognised as relevant to the questions I posed.

                Any more knots to tie me up with? 🙂

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                • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 18:50 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                  I don’t have a psychopath son, but if I did, he would get my love just the same. I have no thoughts on moulding and guiding psychopaths specifically. It appears nothing can be done about the lying.

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                  • James 19:00 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                    It’s fine, you don’t have to have an opinion on everything! But childhood is no doubt a critical phase in anyone’s life, so it stands to reason a properly-guided psychopath will be more successful and less destructive later in life.

                    Of course this thread is open to anybody with any manner of real or imaginary children; I shall have to give up making jokes if nobody can understand them.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 19:42 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                      I understood your joke about the gender, etc… I thought it would be funny to proceed with a response anyway. 🙂

                      I would like to go further into the topic of what you consider to be successful, and what is your view of destructive, since I think that our views don’t coincide. Maybe that topic will require a separate article.

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                      • James 20:05 on May 16, 2015 Permalink

                        Yes, it would. Perhaps a debate article, or something co-written by the two of us?

                        Liked by 1 person

    • Amaterasu Solar 11:04 on May 17, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Without reading above comments, I will give Mine… Sorry if any of this is covered above.

      I note some pride in the fact that You chose to lie twice. This leads Me to ponder on what the basis of that pride is. [smile] You gave no detail, so I ask Myself… What? Did His parent(s) ask a question and He thought, Gee, I can lie here! I’ll make something up! Hahaha! Or was it a matter of being asked about something where an Ethical issue was involved and He lied to cover that up…?

      Or is there something I’m missing? I still do not grasp that pride. Care to illuminate? [smile]

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      • James 12:14 on May 17, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Actually you’ve just read into it wrong, there was no pride attached to the statement. I said it because I thought it would further illuminate our relationship.

        “Gee, I can lie here! I’ll make something up! Hahaha!” This made me laugh, if only it were that simple 🙂

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    • Amb 09:19 on August 5, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I have to admit that I have a hard time relating to your blog, however, it is interesting. This post made me think of a word in Buddhism called bodhicitta, which is essentially a term that describes the compassionate or “soft spot” that every human being has. It implies that even the cruelest of human beings have this-just in varying degrees. So for instance, you may have a complete disregard for “morality” in regards to 99% of the people you encounter, but for your mother you’d greatly inconvenience yourself to save her life, thus confirming that you do in fact have bodhicitta. I was just intrigued by this application of the theory that I’d been on the fence about when reading this post. I hope you’re well.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 09:31 on August 5, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Ah fuck, I’m busted.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Amb 09:49 on August 5, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          It’s just an interesting concept. If accepted, it doesn’t allow us to accept the fact that some people are just “bad.” If everyone has bodhicitta then it means that everyone is in part “good,” even if it’s just to smaller degrees than what we believe is “acceptable.”

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    • nowve666 09:45 on December 25, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      This is the worst Christmas in my life. Reading a new blog by a psychopath was the best Christmas present I could have received. It’s comforting. Soothing. Unlike you, I would not have “greatly inconvenienced myself” to have saved my mother’s life. But I agree with you that parents are the biggest boosters one will ever have although grown children can do a lot for one too. I never had one but many partner, Vickie, has a soon and daughter-in-law who do a lot for us. We didn’t get an invite for Christmas dinner this year. I feel quite abandoned. Maybe I AM borderline after all. (I’m reading “I Hate You. Don’t Leave Me.”)

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      • James 18:16 on December 25, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Yeah, I’ve been thinking Borderline. Especially in light of all the love I’ve been getting from you today.

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        • nowve666 13:54 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I have just taken about five tests for personality disorders. I always score low for Borderline. My highest is Narcissistic. I plan to write a blog comparing Borderline with Psychopathy and examine the similarities and differences and discuss how they pertain to me.

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          • James 14:02 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            The trouble with the way you do it is that you are biased. You want to be a psychopath or narc and don’t want to be borderline. And of course having true self-awareness is very difficult. Before you point it out, yes the same problems apply to me, which is why I don’t bother taking these sorts of personality tests. You would really like to just go and get a formal diagnosis from a psychologist, wouldn’t you? Well then you should.

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            • nowve666 14:16 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              But I did that. They gave me two diagnoses. One was for “my life as a whole” and the other was for present time. The one for my life as a whole was ASPD. The one for present was NOS (not otherwise specified). I looked this up and found this grab bag includes Depressive, Passive Aggressive, Sadistic, Self-Defeating and Psychopathic. This came from Wikipedia. ” You’re right about the overlap, but that also means that the polar opposites (I would say the continuum goes Borderline – Histrionic – Narc – Antisocial) are very different from one another. And Antisocial shares some similarities with Cluster A, while BPD is similar to Cluster C.” This shows how flaky psychology is. I do see some aspects of Borderline in myself but I also see qualities I don’t have at all. I do plan to examine the differences as well as the similarities.

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    • nowve666 21:39 on December 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I certainly hope not if it’s what the book I’m reading is accurate. I recognize some of their traits in me but not enough. Do Borderlines tend to love you? Cluster B has so much overlap, I sometimes think it should be one “disorder.” But the brain scans are different. Borderline brains look very different from psychopathic brains. I’ll just have to get a brain scan. Maybe Tina will spring for it. 😉

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      • James 14:07 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Do Borderlines tend to love me? Well I’ve only ever known two close enough to realise they were Borderlines, and one of them loved me (as in she was actually in love with me), the other was indifferent. Scientifically speaking, that’s inconclusive data! You’re right about the overlap, but that also means that the polar opposites (I would say the continuum goes Borderline – Histrionic – Narc – Antisocial) are very different from one another. And Antisocial shares some similarities with Cluster A, while BPD is similar to Cluster C.

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    • nowve666 14:20 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      What similarities does Antisocial have with Cluster A? I can see what the similarities are between BPD and Cluster C.

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      • James 18:40 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Mainly the distance from emotional connections.

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  • James 11:38 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: boredom, , , , family, , incoherent rambling, , , , , , , ,   

    Random musings of a psychopath (I) 

    A picture from an advertising campaign I like, “doggy dentures”.

    Boredom. It’s a killer. Right now I’m the most bored I’ve been in a while. It’s fucking hateful bullshit, really the worst part of being alive. Fortunately tomorrow I have a change of scenery. Strasbourg for a week, gonna pop in and see the Germans, maybe do a Hitler salute and get arrested. I’m not a nazi, but I find it fucking hilarious that the entire nation of Germany has banned a gesture that’s been in use since before the Romans.

    My grandfather is in the hospital, he’s been in there over a month now. He had a stroke which has completely wiped his mind clean. Most old people, they start by forgetting minor details of their lives and get steadily worse until they leave the oven on all day and burn the house down or are found wandering the aisles of Tesco naked and are then taken off to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Then they’re put in a special care home where the nurses hit them and leave them lying in their own shit all day and everyone’s surprised by how quickly they go downhill and become completely helpless. My grandfather skipped all that bullshit and went straight from bitter old schemer to semi-conscious puddle of brain matter in a few minutes. He’ll be dead soon, he doesn’t even know his own name, and still he manipulates his sons into caring for him. Apparently he gets them to smuggle in booze and treats, to convince the nurses to give him preferential treatment and when he’s got what he wants for the day, he tells them all to fuck off home. Psychopathic resilience: his brains are mashed potato and he still knows how to make people jump and do his bidding.

    Have you heard the one about Vincent Van Gogh? No, neither has he.

    Have you ever eaten a tagine? It’s a Moroccan stew of meat, usually lamb, with a load of vegetables and exotic fruit. I had one the other day and it was quite simply one of the tastiest meals I’ve ever had.

    The last girl I fucked was Moroccan. She failed at being a student and is now “taking a sabbatical” at Buffalo Grill. But she was hot and she really digged my good old-fashioned English charm so we fucked.

    I thought I was going to get it on yesterday with a girl I know from New York City. It was her last day in France before moving home and she called me to ask a favour. She had rented a flute for the year (yes, apparently that is possible) and wanted me to take it back to the shop for her which was closed all week because France is a whiney bitch about May Day. So she asked me to meet her at this café near her hotel, and I was all ready for a nice date but COCKBLOCK! Her father had just flown in from the States and was there in the café with her. Like a true Manhattanite, she offered me 20 € “for my trouble” but I ain’t no flute whore, so I said the favour was on the house, since we were “friends” and all. Anyway, she’ll be waiting to get her 250 € deposit back once I’ve returned the flute to the shop but the trouble with that is I snapped the thing in two and chucked it in a dumpster.

    Did you know psychopaths say ‘um’ and use connectives like “and” and “so” a lot more than normal people? Apparently that’s one of our most diabolical traits. People are fine with the dishonesty and the occasional murder, but as soon as we know how to tell a story a bit more logically than Average Joe Loser, we’re hated. It’s all true, bitchez.

    If this all seems like the delusional ramblings of a crazy person to you, it’s because I’m writing stream of consciousness. You should try it, see how you look on paper, you fucking judgmental piece of shit. This is perhaps the most honest it is possible to be, since I’m just typing anything that occurs to me straight away. No charm, no lies, no manipulation, just thought. Anyway, I’ve enjoyed this post and am no longer bored, so if it gets published I will certainly write another one like it in the future.

     
    • Amaterasu Solar 13:32 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I do not judge by anything but Ethics, James. I could see the stream easily. [smile] I grasp the ease at which You shift from a dying kin to the food You like. I might even think there was a deliberate switch there, consciously or not, to hammer the point.

      I learned a bit about psychopaths I did not know – the and and um part – though I might tend towards that Myself and I am not a psychopath.

      As far as the flute incident, that fails the Ethics test. You chose to do that specifically and willfully, only because it would create problems for Others. That kind of behavior is unEthical – and I’m sure You’re bright enough to grasp the clear lines drawn by the three Laws and choose to choose Your behavior within those parameters? Or do Ethics ask too much of You?

      Liked by 1 person

      • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 15:30 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Psychopaths can’t be bound to any set of rules.

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        • Amaterasu Solar 15:40 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I would not set Them to be bound by anything They don’t choose Themselves. I really want to know if a psychopath could grant Others the willingness to choose Their behavior within three very clear Laws. James says that He is intellectually aware that there are Others, each a Being of Consciousness (maybe not in those terms but I think that was the gist), if He does not feel it. I wondered if a psychopath would feel a thrill at being so…noble, perhaps.

          I’m very curious.

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        • James 16:41 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I could set my own rules and follow them. You could also motivate me to follow rules if they were in the framework of a contract for specific situation I benefited from

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          • Amaterasu Solar 16:55 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            Fair enough. What do You consider to be the things that benefit You. Again, very curious.

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          • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 18:18 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            My understanding of your position is that as long as you are in control of the rules, you will follow them. (Rule #1, the maker of the rules may change the rules without reason, and without warning.)

            Liked by 1 person

      • James 16:32 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        No, it’s just that I don’t feel the need to follow your Ethics Principles; they don’t have any significance in my life.

        The food switch wasn’t intentional, it was just a delicious meal I really liked. Though I do see what point you thought I was hammering (callousness, right?). I think the speech detection thing is bullshit, who doesn’t ‘ummm’ occasionally and use words such as “and” and “so”?

        Liked by 1 person

        • Amaterasu Solar 17:06 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I agree with the assessment of the and and um. I see about the issue of Ethics. The Laws are ancient, You know. I didn’t make them up. It’s sad to Me and meaningless to You, I suppose, that the value of Ethics as a seed parameter in choice of behavior choices eludes You. I must say I was hoping.

          The only thing I can offer as a “benefit” is My respect to the psychopath who consciously chooses to choose that One’s behavior within Ethical parameters. Hardly worth a thought, I might suppose. [smile]

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      • James 07:22 on May 5, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Amaterasu Solar (that’s such a cumbersome title, can’t I please call you by something else?), I’ve given a lot of thought to ethics and morals (and their potential differences) and am very satisfied with where my thoughts led me. So I will be making a post about ethics in the near future, which you will appreciate no end. Just to whet your appetite, the words “universal” and “cultural” will both be appearing.

        Tina, prepare to meet the philosopher I previously claimed to be without providing any proof.

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        • Amaterasu Solar 10:58 on May 8, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          People call Me Amy. [smile] Do feel free. I look forward to Your thoughts on Ethics.

          Liked by 1 person

          • James 15:07 on May 8, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            Do they indeed? That’s not very kind of them, unless that’s your name 🙂

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    • James 16:56 on May 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      You know what, this isn’t working out. The wifi in my current location (I really am in Strasbourg) is too poor to continue this conversation. You all leave whatever comments and questions you like, and I’ll get back to you in a few days’ time.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Kathi 02:39 on May 6, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      James i liked reading UR thots and UR replies to comments. The few I read (just found this) were easy ones. U know wat I mean? I’ll call it the ‘easy’ category. Sweet but pitiful attempts to set u straight failed. I see thru u like glass. U remind me of my pussy brother who got away w running his mouth cuZ my mommy let him. Wat does a punk like u do wen a woman like me brings a man (a real one) to punch u in ur face as many x as I say? Hm? I’m a borderline hav no doubt I can manipulate but a coward like u using UR mouth to show women how cruel and clever u r? It be my pleasure to show those same women how easy it is to make cool cowards like u run like a bitch. Thanks I feel better already !!

      Like

    • nowve666 10:14 on December 25, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Loved this blog. Did you know Judge Judy gets very mean when litigants say “um?” She says “‘Um’ isn’t a word.” Your comments on the joys of old age made me LOL. Vickie couldn’t understand why I was laughing. Doesn’t she know that all humor is graveyard humor? This place takes most of my money and I just learned that the fees are $115.00 more than I thought. But the unit for severe Alzheimer’s costs an unbelievably high fee. Just so as not to be hit and left in one’s own shit all day. I’m counting on my psychopath’s resilience to see me through.

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