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  • James 21:08 on January 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: 2018, Advance to Mayfair, , cheating, , games, , , , , , , , new year, , , , , , Sorry!, The Old Kent Road - a nice little earner   

    Just being psychopathic 

    So, New Year’s Day, 2018. I spent it in the company of my mother for the most part, playing board games. It was nice to reconnect, nice to not have anything else to do but play a few games and enjoy spending time with the woman who birthed and raised me. It’s not often that there’s literally nothing else I’d rather be doing than what I’m currently doing, or that there’s nothing else that really has to be done.

    The way my mind works, it’s goal-oriented. Win this. Get that. Do such and such. Beat him. And when I have a goal, everything I do, every bit of effort is put into achieving that goal. You could say I have a sort of tunnel vision, a razor sharp focus on the prize, outside of which nothing else matters. When I’m trying to achieve a goal is when other people are most likely to be adversely affected. This single-mindedness is what causes me to manipulate and use people like tools. You see, people who have been hurt by psychopaths get it all wrong. They take everything personally. They act like there was always a plan on the part of the psychopath to ruin their life or to make them unhappy. This is rarely the case. The psychopath was just doing what he or she needed to do to get what he or she wanted. You just got unlucky, by being in the way or by being the key to achieving his or her goal.

    Sometimes, I am accused of deliberately hurting someone or of setting out to cause them harm. This is fair enough; people are inclined to take things personally, as they love to imagine themselves as more important than they really are, being at the centre of their own universe. I don’t blame people for feeling like shit when they’ve been cheated or taken an emotional battering. It’s not a good place to be in. But it’s when they call me cruel or sadistic, they’re wrong. I’m not cruel. I’m not sadistic. I don’t wish anybody harm. On the other hand, I am single-minded. I am selfish. I am ruthless.

    But not today. Today, there was nothing to do but play games and enjoy being with my mother. I suppose that was a sort of goal, and could be reimagined as an objective: ‘spend time with Mum and enjoy self’, which would require of me such behaviour as ‘be polite’, ‘be charming’, ‘be loving’, ‘be upbeat’ (yes, that is really how I think). However, there was nothing beyond this simplistic ‘goal’, no detailed planning or second-guessing required!

    And it was enjoyable. We both had a good time. We drank cups of tea, and later glasses of beaujolais. We played ‘Monopoly’ and ‘Sorry’, and I won four out of five games. I was probably thinking more strategically than Mum, because she was just having fun with her son, while I can never really ‘switch off’ one hundred percent. I manipulated and cheated my way into winning four times, but always with a cheeky smile, playful banter and a joke to make my parent laugh. She could see what I was doing most of the time, both when I was giving ‘advice’ on what move she should take next, and when I tried to bribe her with 500 Monopoly money, but she didn’t hold it against me because she loves me, and because I was on top social form. I like that kind of interaction. Being charming and having someone hang on to your every word – it’s a good feeling, even when it’s with someone who is pretty much biologically-programmed to love you.

    Still, the way I look at it is although my Mum can’t help but love me, the fact that she also likes me must count for something, and says something about our relationship.

    New Year’s Day 2018 – it was simple, but fulfilling.

     
    • nowve666 09:22 on January 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      How does someone bribe another player in Monopoly? Give her the $500 to let you go twice? Have her buy a property she wasn’t going to buy? Fun game.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Amaterasu Solar 11:39 on January 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      James, You fascinate Me, and I do like You. Thanks for sharing this! I will surely not be trusting You, but I can grasp why Your mom likes You.

      Like

  • James 09:34 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , games, machiavellianism, , Mesdames et messieurs nous vous rappellons que la validation de votre titre de transport est obligatoire lors de la montée dans le tramway, , no homo, , , sexy italians, , that noise computers with dial-up internet make,   

    Psychopath meet psychopath 

    I am writing this in response to a comment from my favourite self-identified Human. If you want to suggest an article, you can! I’m super receptive, and shit. 

    In one of my most recent articles, I alluded to being able to spot other psychopaths in a crowd. Let me tell you about a recent time when just that happened. I was going home on the tram (like a true European), and two students got on and sat opposite me. The one on the right was grinning foolishly, his head slightly bowed even though he was by no means too tall for the tram. The one on the left was sitting straight and confident, clearly not listening to the chattering of his friend. His eyes were scanning the carriage like mine had been moments earlier, and they narrowed slightly when they noticed I was watching. He stared coldly for several seconds, until his friend cracked some sort of ‘joke’ and briefly shut up, clearly expecting some sort of reaction. The psychopath smiled at him mechanically and even let his eyes crinkle to show ‘genuine’ pleasure. You could practically see the mental pat on the back he had given his friend and the cheering effect it had on the latter’s confidence. Once again the psychopath made eye contact with me, no longer bothering to keep the contempt from his face. I looked pointedly at the friend then back at him before miming a yawn and in response he smirked. Soon after was their stop and they left, the joker trailing slightly behind.

    That what just a brief encounter. A silent, one-off meeting, with no further consequences. It is just one example of many moments of mutual recognition in my life, that are often followed by a mutual decision to keep a distance: “I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine”.

    But what happens when two psychopaths actually interact? Well, the internet has no doubt made a huge difference. Being a 90s baby, by the time I was seven or eight we had a home computer, so  I don’t know how things went down before the internet, whether psychopaths would actually meet up to discuss being psychopaths, but since it doesn’t happen much these days I would assume probably not. By contrast, in 2015 there are several active online ‘communities’ of psychopaths that I know of and probably twice as many that I don’t. Psychopaths have websites and blogs that I visit on occasion; likewise other psychopaths sometimes stop by to comment here. This can have many mutual benefits; being able to communicate openly with like-minded people is one. Discussing things that only psychopaths would be interested in is another. Honing verbal sparring skills is one that is more personal to me. And yes, comparing notes on tactics occasionally plays a role too. One thing that is not usually a problem is staying out of each others’ way. We can tolerate each other precisely because we’re not targeting the same prey and do not pose a threat to one another’s existence. It can happen online, but not often enough to comment on.

    However, despite the internet’s ubiquity in the modern world, real life still exists and real psychopaths still come into real life, prolonged contact.

    Matt

    In my second year of university, I shared a house with nine other people (it was a big house in a poor city, so really easy for a bunch of broke students to rent). Apart from me and the six normal neurotypicals, there was an autistic person, a neurotypical with depression, and another psychopath. We’ll call the psychopath “Matt”, because that’s his name. He is from a rich family, he was enlisted in a weird officer version of the army cadets (which, if he ever joins up for real will elevate him straight through the ranks to Second Lieutenant) and there’s not much more I could say. His personality was bland, but that might just be because I could see through the mask.

    There was certainly some common ground, and we did team up to pick on the weaker members of the group on occasion, but we were both possessive over what each of us judged to be our house, our toys. To paraphrase a song, the house wasn’t big enough for the both of us.

    Psychopath philosopher = my kind of guy.

    From the start, I had the advantage. True, it wasn’t completely one-sided as Matt is just as intelligent as, if not more intelligent than, me. And he successfully forged a closer relationship to the autistic girl, Ginny, whom he tormented. But I was better at charming the group as a whole, am much less overtly anti-social (cleaned up after myself, involved myself in household organisation – really just a way of having influence over decision-making) and my nice guy mask was more firmly secured than his. Plus I had one significant advantage, I already knew what a psychopath is, and knew that was who I was, whereas he was either completely ignorant or just waking up. And he did stupid ‘I am obviously a psychopath’ things, like reading Machiavelli’s The Prince in the kitchen, talking openly about manipulating people and not taking much care to keep his ‘relationship’ with Ginny, and all its bizarre abuse, covert. In the end, he was his own undoing. Everyone in the house knew how he’d been treating the girl by the time I acted, orchestrating in a “worried about Ginny” meeting with the two most influential neurotypical housemates. All I had to do was casually mention I’d been reading about psychopaths and thought Matt fit the bill, and the rest clicked into place. Matt was immediately discredited among the entire house, and was forced to leave within days. I had won. The house was mine. Huzzah!

    And on that bombshell (RIP), it’s time to end.

     
    • luvlee 15:03 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Hahahaha one up to the smarter psycho. B.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 15:44 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, B. You’ve replaced the kid now have you? I was talking to her for ages yesterday.

        Liked by 1 person

        • luvlee 15:47 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I heard. I was like don’t fuckn talk to my friend but i seen you said the other day nobody is my property. Haha. I just like having my own fuckn friends away from her. She been around for a while cos she’s trying to keep us all safe. Fuck knows why. Get to go away for the weekend and i think she’s fucked that up by telling People I’m Guna hurt her. She makes me look nuts is fuckn annoying. If i could kill her i would but now you know what that would mean. B

          Like

          • James 15:56 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            Yeah, that would be pretty fucking stupid, haha. So, do you think you’re a psychopath? The others seem to think you are.

            Like

            • luvlee 16:02 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              I have read about it and I have alot of the characteristics of being one. Problem being i have the others who are not. So that does not make the whole person one dammit. I torment her all the time it is fun. I recognize other psychopaths and pathetic people i can take advantage of. I’m actually excited we studying criminal justice because the best criminals make the best detectives. Or better criminals Hahhahaha and i can use my knowledge to my own personal advantage.

              Liked by 1 person

              • James 16:34 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                I’d say you probably are. I plan to keep asking for criminology info, and if you don’t tell me, one of the other idiots will 😛

                How do you torment her? How is that even possible?

                Like

                • luvlee 16:55 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                  Easy i just say that she’s a whore slut and i cut her i had to put my name on her to remember that I’m here and don’t forget it. Brooke tried changing my name right. I’m the only fuckn one here with a half decent name. This lady got into my system and tried changing it. I can understand brooke just wanted a friend but you can’t fuckn trust anybody

                  Like

                  • James 17:50 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                    But really what I was asking was how you manage to communicate with them and how they understand you. If Bitch really is your name, that is kickass. I’m guessing the lady is the therapist?

                    Like

                    • luvlee 18:17 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                      I just think at them its thoughts. She doesn’t hear voices. It’s very hard to know who is in or thinking things but she generally is starting to notice who is who. The host i mean. We don’t communicate much with each other. I only knew of brooke and in the beginning i was in denial of her until i realised my job is to destroy her. Yes Bitch is my name and i have a twin sister brutal bitch. She is not around unless host is in extreme danger of being hurt by others. She don’t take it. Not from others outside of her family.

                      Liked by 1 person

                      • James 18:25 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        OH my god, ‘Brutal Bitch’. That’s awesome. I want to meet her. The host knows about you, though. And about Brooke. I don’t know of any of the others, though they might have already talked to me.

                        Like

                      • luvlee 18:40 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        The host only knows about me and brooke. She knows there many others and she has a list that was revealed to her but we are the only 2 at the moment she remembers slightly as having been here. I only know brooke brooke knows quite a few of the others. She’s an inner self helper. I am a persecutor apparently. Haha fuck that. They must likely have not talked to you. And then there are fragments. Have you looked up any of this crazy shit. I can’t believe how fuckn dumb it is.

                        Like

                      • James 18:54 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        Looked it up? No, I learn lots talking to you and the others. Haha, you ‘persecute’ them, meaning you keep them on their toes. But Brooke is a challenge to speak to, she’s guarded. What do you say to the host’s plan to exorcise you from her body? You gonna die, Bitch >:)

                        Like

                      • luvlee 19:20 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        I fuckn get angry as fuck. How did you know about that. I was thinking about this before. Brooke and the therapist are against me. They don’t want me having any fun. They make me go away to these retreats to rest and all i wanna do is play up and I’m not even allowed out

                        Like

                      • James 19:26 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        I know lots of things. You cause trouble, you’re going to get burnt. Unless the therapist were to no longer have so much control over your life. Now how might you make that happen? 😉

                        Like

                      • luvlee 19:37 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        By stopping going to her. I tell her i ain’t coming back and she says she’ll leave the appointment open in case others change their minds. If i had control of them all i would stop going. I nearly did the other day but half an hour late brooke made me go. But i took the session time. Hahhahaha told the t to fuck off

                        Liked by 1 person

                      • James 19:45 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        Or, you could try something more permanent… when you know a bit more criminality , uh I mean, -ology 🙂

                        I’m going to bed, then afterwards to Spain. Bye, bitch. Bye, Brooke. And Anna of course. Play nice.

                        Liked by 1 person

                      • luvlee 19:47 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        Oh you lucky bastard have lots of fun. I know i would.

                        Liked by 1 person

                      • James 19:49 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        Have fun with no kids around!

                        Like

                      • luvlee 19:50 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        Fuck Yeah. Hope the Bitch hasn’t penned to brooke to much otherwise i won’t be allowed to much fun

                        Like

                      • James 19:52 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        Ooh, who are you?

                        Like

                      • luvlee 20:15 on August 28, 2015 Permalink

                        It’s Bitch. I hope the therapist hasn’t Listened to brooke

                        Like

    • Rivka 16:22 on August 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Wicked interesting reading.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lucy 11:35 on August 21, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Hey, I’ve always had a burning interest and desire for a psychopath. I only rate 25 on hares test but I think I can get better. Does anyone fancy talking?? I’m 23 year old woman.

      Like

    • Anonymous 14:12 on September 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      got to say I disagree with you James saying that you can spot a Psychopath in a crowd even if you proclaim to been one Yourself. If there’s one thing I know about Psychopaths is that they can read people better than most Non Psychopaths can. They can even fool other Psychopaths. Robert Hare the Godfather of Psychopathy gets asked this question a lot and he said he is No better than anyone else at spotting Psychopaths it can take weeks , months , even years before the mask slips. In Britain 1 in 100 people have a Psychopathic personality but need to score 30 out of 40 on the Psychopathy checklist to be Identified as a true Psychopath whereas the rest of the population only scores 1 or 2 on the test!

      Like

    • Ranpo 11:05 on November 20, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      haha 🙂

      Like

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