Tagged: parents Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • James 15:50 on April 4, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: arguments, coming out, , , , , , parents, , , , , step aside Mr Shakespeare, true story   

    Fessin' up 

    Pleased to meet you.

    Scene I: Friday evening, kitchen table

    JAMES’S FATHER (eyes narrowed): So, once again we find ourselves in this situation. For the fourth time, you’ve been lying to us.

    JAMES (in his head): Four times that you know of. (aloud) I don’t think it’s really been four times. What were the others?

    JAMES’S MOTHER outlines each of the three previous occasions. JAMES argues that at none of those times was he lying, and that this is a different situation. He wins 1 of 3 rounds.

    JAMES’S FATHER (exasperated): Three times, four times, what’s the fucking difference?! What matters is for the nth time, you have deliberately deceived us over months, and I don’t know why.

    JAMES: Neither do I.

    JAMES’S FATHER: No, that’s not going to fly anymore. You must know why you lie.

    JAMES (breathless) : It’s just an impulse. I don’t know why I do it. I can’t stop myself.

    JAMES’S FATHER: Don’t give us all this “it’s just an impulse” bullshit. You made a choice to lie each time you spoke to us and you did it comfortably.

    JAMES (internally admiring his father’s shrewdness): No! I didn’t do it on purpose-

    JAMES’S FATHER (cutting James off): You knowingly and comfortably lied to us over months. You deliberately hurt us.

    JAMES (truthfully): I did not lie to hurt you. (in head) I lied to benefit me. You didn’t come into the equation.

    JAMES’S FATHER (shouting): You lied knowing you would hurt us. You deliberately hurt us.

    JAMES (shouting back): NO! I didn’t lie to hurt you! I mean, I knew the consequences if you found out, but you weren’t supposed to find out.

    JAMES’S MOTHER: You may not have set out to hurt us, but that’s the result.

    JAMES (flatly): Yes.

    JAMES’S FATHER: So come on, why did you do it? I want an explanation.

    JAMES (long silence): I don’t know what to say. (another long silence) I have nothing to say.

    JAMES’S FATHER: Do you know right from wrong?

    JAMES (quickly) Yes. (pause) I mean I think I do. Who knows at this point? I don’t know. I feel bad for hurting you, if that’s the same thing.

    JAMES’S FATHER: Then why did you lie

    JAMES shrugs, but says nothing. After a whole minute:

    JAMES’S FATHER: Well I’m not going to sit here while you say nothing. If that’s the best explanation you can give, I guess we’ll have to take it. But I don’t know how we can trust you ever again, knowing how easily and convincingly you lie. We want to trust you, but there’ll always be a niggling doubt in the back of our minds. I want to believe you.

    JAMES (deciding now is not the time to make an ‘X Files’ joke): Yes, okay.

    JAMES’S MOTHER bursts into tears and runs from the room. JAMES looks at his father impassively.

    JAMES’S FATHER: You should go after your mother.

    JAMES: I don’t know what to say.

    JAMES’S FATHER (shouting again): How about telling her you’re sorry you hurt her?

    Exeunt

    Scene II: Monday lunchtime. JAMES’S MOTHER’S garden, where she has been chatting to her son and sitting on a bench

    JAMES’S MOTHER: I know you won’t like this, but I have to ask anyway. All those times you were telling me how useless [person] was and how she was so disorganised and feckless, that was all made up, wasn’t it?

    JAMES: Yeah, it was.

    JAMES’S MOTHER (gobsmacked): You had me stressed out and really hating that woman for putting you through so much, but it was all just fabricated.

    JAMES (half-smile): Well I was just describing myself, wasn’t I? I was the disorganised one, so I was just using her as a scapegoat.

    They sit in silence for a few moments. Then, JAMES’S MOTHER asks why JAMES told a lie a certain way, when he had told similar lies in a consistent, but different way.

    JAMES’S MOTHER: Why didn’t you just follow the same pattern?

    JAMES (genuinely stumped): Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe for variety? But it was back in December, so I’m really not sure. Interesting question.

    JAMES’S MOTHER (still disgruntled, but with a note of pride): You put a lot of detail into your lies, don’t you? A lot of unnecessary stuff, but you get really committed to the story, I’ll give you that.

    JAMES: Um, thanks, Mum.

    They smile at each other genuinely

    Advertisements
     
    • nowve666 18:41 on April 4, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      “Pleased to meet you.” Where you been? I can show you incredible things.
      They sit in silence for a few moments. Then, JAMES’S MOTHER asks why JAMES told a lie a certain way, when he had told similar lies in a consistent, but different way.

      JAMES’S MOTHER: Why didn’t you just follow the same pattern?”
      Criminal versatility?

      Like

      • James 05:45 on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Nvm, I found it.

        Like

        • nowve666 09:28 on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          I just copied it, selecting the text and Ctrl-C. The text of your blog has italics in it which I guess you put there by selecting the Italic icon in the editor or by just doing Ctrl-I.

          Like

    • nowve666 21:14 on April 4, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Hey! Do your parents know you’re a psychopath?

      Like

    • Amaterasu Solar 23:09 on April 4, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Interestingly, I find that I like You a lot, James. Would trust You as far as I could throw You…which, as an old, arthritic lady, is nil. But I like You.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 04:28 on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Lol that is funny.

        Liked by 1 person

      • James 05:43 on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Most people who know me, like me. What I lack in trustworthiness, I make up for with personality 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • Amaterasu Solar 21:36 on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          Serves You well, no doubt. [smile]

          Liked by 1 person

          • James 08:33 on April 6, 2017 Permalink | Reply

            What do you like about me? 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • Amaterasu Solar 09:08 on April 6, 2017 Permalink | Reply

              i like Your willingness to “fess up” (presuming it’s a true account, which I think it likely is). I like Your intellect and Your way of Self examination. I like that You do not resort to ad hominem (as witnessed in a previous exchange with anOther). I like the debonair quality You exude. I suspect that You would be fun to spend time with, provided One does not take anything You might say to heart. [smile]

              Liked by 1 person

              • James 07:45 on April 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

                Thank you, that comment seems sincere, and altogether too charitable. You’re not half bad yourself 🙂

                The exact script is almost certainly wrong, such is the atrocious state of human memory, but the gist of the exchanges is all true.

                Liked by 1 person

    • Amaterasu Solar 12:32 on April 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I surely did not expect a verbatim recounting. I figured it was a general portrayal. [smile] Indeed, I always express from the heart, and I meant every word I said. “Charitable?” Not at all. It is what I pick up from You. And thanks. For a conspiracy analysis, I guess I do ok, eh? [grin]

      Like

    • GeneticPsychosMom (Tina) 11:13 on April 13, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you for this from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for all you have contributed. I am truly sorry that I have neglected you in this regard.

      Liked by 2 people

    • bloodyfuckingdiatribe 14:32 on June 2, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      “Life of James: A Heart-Worming Tale”

      Liked by 2 people

  • James 15:58 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: alcoholism, , , , , , , , , , , parents, , , , PTSD   

    Meet the parents of a psychopath 

    Since I’ve just spent the week in the company of my parents, and had the intention to write about them anyway, what better time than right now?

    My father was one of these.

    They primarily came to move some of my belongings home to England (I won’t be here for much longer) but out of that they gained a vacation in France with their beloved son. On top of that, further gains for me were: free accommodation in a pleasant rural setting and free food and alcohol for a week including several restaurant meals, which are unspeakably good round these parts.

    As I write, they are still in the country but are driving up to the coast to catch the ferry. They left about 3 hours before the time of writing, and although I spent about 20 minutes mourning their departure, I no longer miss them. Instead, I’m looking ahead to the next month or so and the plans I have.

    Anyway, my parents. I still have two of them, though at nearly 60 years old they’re getting on a bit. My mother is a geographer, loves gardening, books and I struggle to think of a third thing. She’s a pushover. My father is a former guard of the Queen, war veteran, and retired police officer. He’s also an alcoholic, a PTSD sufferer and has a very nasty temper. I have a mixed relationship with my dad; we can go from joking to fighting to cold silence in the space of an afternoon. The relationship between my mother and I is much more stable and as a consequence is closer, though I lie to and manipulate both of them equally.

    Because I don’t miss them for long when they’re not around, I don’t keep in touch as often as they’d like, in fact one of my favourite games is to set a specific time to call or skype and then not show up, subsequently ignoring all texts, phone calls and emails for weeks until they think I’ve died or am in trouble.

    My mother likes these.

     

    In general, however, it pays to keep them on my side:

    • Parents are the biggest supporters you’ll ever get and perhaps the only people you can rely on to be selfless most of the time.
    • They do all sorts of useful favours and jobs and expect little or nothing in return. And they can’t replace me! A psychopath’s dream…
    • They teach life lessons. From my mum, I have learned patience, co-operation, negotiation and temper control. Thanks to her, I will (probably) never go to prison. From my dad, I have learned manipulation, persuasion, cooking and all sorts of interesting tips for criminal activity, as well as physical and psychological torture. Thanks to him, I will (probably) be successful in life.
    • They give me money, almost without question. And the Bank of Dad doesn’t recall its debts.
    • Despite everything, I do love them. Not in the same way as you love your parents and certainly not in the way they love me. While my dad would “walk over hot coals” and mum would “do anything” for me, I would, to quote myself like a true narcissist, “greatly inconvenience myself to save my mother’s life”. That probably doesn’t sound like much, but it’s more than I would do for anyone else. What is love anyway?

    P.S. While I was finishing this off, I got a quick phone call to say my folks have arrived at the ferry port. It was good-natured and polite. I lied at least twice in the 2 minutes we were talking. 

    How would you feel if you had a psychopath for a son? How would you mould and guide him? Would he make you proud of his success or ashamed of his crimes? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

     

     
    • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 16:00 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      James, why did you tag your post “child abuse”?

      Like

      • James 16:03 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        “He’s also an alcoholic, a PTSD sufferer and has a very nasty temper.” – You do the maths, sweetie.

        Liked by 1 person

        • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 17:05 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          My daughter (a psychopath) tells people she was abused at home. She gets people to sympathize with her based on lies. People don’t bother to ask the parents about it, do they? When my daughter was in high school, she would write papers about herself that were complete fabrications. At the time I didn’t know she was a psychopath, and it was bewildering – why would she paint her family in such a bad light? Now I know. People are easier to use if they feel sorry for you.

          Like

          • James 17:19 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            What your daughter does / did is no concern of mine. If I wanted sympathy, I would have made a big thing out of it. Everything I just wrote is true, except that being nearly 60 is not really “getting on a bit”, that was a light-hearted remark.

            Like

            • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 18:05 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              Did not write that part for you. I was not suggesting that you want sympathy from this article. I also was not suggesting that you were lying. I was simply writing my experience since I had nothing else to say.

              Liked by 1 person

              • James 18:08 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                Leaving your comment in reply to mine indicated you were in fact talking to / about me, but since that was not your intention it was just a misunderstanding.

                Like

            • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 18:22 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              This comment is for you. You said what my daughter does/did is no concern of yours, yet your question at the end of the article asks about people’s children. Are you specifically looking for hypotheticals? You know I find it funny when you contradict yourself.

              Liked by 1 person

              • James 18:34 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                And please do continue to point it out when I do, won’t you? 😀

                Yes, I am specifically looking for hypothetical sons, NOT daughters…

                In all serious, what I meant by “is no concern of mine” was “has nothing to do with me”. I was attempting to distance myself from your daughter’s blatant lack of respect for you because, as you know, I thought you were implying I was lying. Now we have established you were doing no such thing, the comment about your daughter can be recognised as relevant to the questions I posed.

                Any more knots to tie me up with? 🙂

                Like

                • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 18:50 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                  I don’t have a psychopath son, but if I did, he would get my love just the same. I have no thoughts on moulding and guiding psychopaths specifically. It appears nothing can be done about the lying.

                  Like

                  • James 19:00 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                    It’s fine, you don’t have to have an opinion on everything! But childhood is no doubt a critical phase in anyone’s life, so it stands to reason a properly-guided psychopath will be more successful and less destructive later in life.

                    Of course this thread is open to anybody with any manner of real or imaginary children; I shall have to give up making jokes if nobody can understand them.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 19:42 on May 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                      I understood your joke about the gender, etc… I thought it would be funny to proceed with a response anyway. 🙂

                      I would like to go further into the topic of what you consider to be successful, and what is your view of destructive, since I think that our views don’t coincide. Maybe that topic will require a separate article.

                      Like

                      • James 20:05 on May 16, 2015 Permalink

                        Yes, it would. Perhaps a debate article, or something co-written by the two of us?

                        Liked by 1 person

    • Amaterasu Solar 11:04 on May 17, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Without reading above comments, I will give Mine… Sorry if any of this is covered above.

      I note some pride in the fact that You chose to lie twice. This leads Me to ponder on what the basis of that pride is. [smile] You gave no detail, so I ask Myself… What? Did His parent(s) ask a question and He thought, Gee, I can lie here! I’ll make something up! Hahaha! Or was it a matter of being asked about something where an Ethical issue was involved and He lied to cover that up…?

      Or is there something I’m missing? I still do not grasp that pride. Care to illuminate? [smile]

      Like

      • James 12:14 on May 17, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Actually you’ve just read into it wrong, there was no pride attached to the statement. I said it because I thought it would further illuminate our relationship.

        “Gee, I can lie here! I’ll make something up! Hahaha!” This made me laugh, if only it were that simple 🙂

        Like

    • Amb 09:19 on August 5, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I have to admit that I have a hard time relating to your blog, however, it is interesting. This post made me think of a word in Buddhism called bodhicitta, which is essentially a term that describes the compassionate or “soft spot” that every human being has. It implies that even the cruelest of human beings have this-just in varying degrees. So for instance, you may have a complete disregard for “morality” in regards to 99% of the people you encounter, but for your mother you’d greatly inconvenience yourself to save her life, thus confirming that you do in fact have bodhicitta. I was just intrigued by this application of the theory that I’d been on the fence about when reading this post. I hope you’re well.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 09:31 on August 5, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Ah fuck, I’m busted.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Amb 09:49 on August 5, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          It’s just an interesting concept. If accepted, it doesn’t allow us to accept the fact that some people are just “bad.” If everyone has bodhicitta then it means that everyone is in part “good,” even if it’s just to smaller degrees than what we believe is “acceptable.”

          Like

    • nowve666 09:45 on December 25, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      This is the worst Christmas in my life. Reading a new blog by a psychopath was the best Christmas present I could have received. It’s comforting. Soothing. Unlike you, I would not have “greatly inconvenienced myself” to have saved my mother’s life. But I agree with you that parents are the biggest boosters one will ever have although grown children can do a lot for one too. I never had one but many partner, Vickie, has a soon and daughter-in-law who do a lot for us. We didn’t get an invite for Christmas dinner this year. I feel quite abandoned. Maybe I AM borderline after all. (I’m reading “I Hate You. Don’t Leave Me.”)

      Like

      • James 18:16 on December 25, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Yeah, I’ve been thinking Borderline. Especially in light of all the love I’ve been getting from you today.

        Like

        • nowve666 13:54 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I have just taken about five tests for personality disorders. I always score low for Borderline. My highest is Narcissistic. I plan to write a blog comparing Borderline with Psychopathy and examine the similarities and differences and discuss how they pertain to me.

          Like

          • James 14:02 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            The trouble with the way you do it is that you are biased. You want to be a psychopath or narc and don’t want to be borderline. And of course having true self-awareness is very difficult. Before you point it out, yes the same problems apply to me, which is why I don’t bother taking these sorts of personality tests. You would really like to just go and get a formal diagnosis from a psychologist, wouldn’t you? Well then you should.

            Like

            • nowve666 14:16 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              But I did that. They gave me two diagnoses. One was for “my life as a whole” and the other was for present time. The one for my life as a whole was ASPD. The one for present was NOS (not otherwise specified). I looked this up and found this grab bag includes Depressive, Passive Aggressive, Sadistic, Self-Defeating and Psychopathic. This came from Wikipedia. ” You’re right about the overlap, but that also means that the polar opposites (I would say the continuum goes Borderline – Histrionic – Narc – Antisocial) are very different from one another. And Antisocial shares some similarities with Cluster A, while BPD is similar to Cluster C.” This shows how flaky psychology is. I do see some aspects of Borderline in myself but I also see qualities I don’t have at all. I do plan to examine the differences as well as the similarities.

              Like

    • nowve666 21:39 on December 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I certainly hope not if it’s what the book I’m reading is accurate. I recognize some of their traits in me but not enough. Do Borderlines tend to love you? Cluster B has so much overlap, I sometimes think it should be one “disorder.” But the brain scans are different. Borderline brains look very different from psychopathic brains. I’ll just have to get a brain scan. Maybe Tina will spring for it. 😉

      Like

      • James 14:07 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Do Borderlines tend to love me? Well I’ve only ever known two close enough to realise they were Borderlines, and one of them loved me (as in she was actually in love with me), the other was indifferent. Scientifically speaking, that’s inconclusive data! You’re right about the overlap, but that also means that the polar opposites (I would say the continuum goes Borderline – Histrionic – Narc – Antisocial) are very different from one another. And Antisocial shares some similarities with Cluster A, while BPD is similar to Cluster C.

        Like

    • nowve666 14:20 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      What similarities does Antisocial have with Cluster A? I can see what the similarities are between BPD and Cluster C.

      Like

      • James 18:40 on December 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Mainly the distance from emotional connections.

        Like

c
Compose new post
j
Next post/Next comment
k
Previous post/Previous comment
r
Reply
e
Edit
o
Show/Hide comments
t
Go to top
l
Go to login
h
Show/Hide help
shift + esc
Cancel
%d bloggers like this: