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  • James 10:25 on August 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , baby James, British bragging rights, bullying, , , compassion, , fox news, , , , remember-remember, revenge, school, skyfoogle,   

    Random musings of a psychopath II: childhood memories 

    Along the same lines as Part I, but I’ve ditched the freakier elements of the ‘stream of consciousness’ style, which I think was unpopular. Here are some select memories from my childhood (all 5 – 11 years old)

    • In primary school I waged war on another kid in my class just because he had the nerve to also be called Jamie (which was my ‘cute little boy*’ name growing up). He became the target of frequent bullying and turned into one of the weird loner kids in high school. At the same time, I insisted my cousin Jamie (who is a good seven years older than me so kind of already had the dibs) be called Jim at all times when I was present. Even nowadays, whenever I encounter other people with the names James or Jamie, I can’t help but feel a certain heightened antipathy toward them just because they are using ‘my name’. Stupid I know.
    • My birthday is 5th November, which is a holiday in England commemorating the thwarting of the Gunpowder Plot to blow up Parliament (and the king of the day with it, who incidentally was James I. Come to think of it, it’s the 410th anniversary of the whole shabang this year, reminding us all that England’s democracy is hella old). This means that each year my birthday is marked by fireworks displays and huge community bonfires up and down the land. You can imagine how this fed into the ego of a budding psychopath. I was 10 or 11 before I knowingly met someone with the same birthday, and I reacted in much the same way as with the name thieves. She was a bitch, and she had a stupid name; Ailsa Winter. Now I think of it years later, it’s a pretty name really isn’t it? Quite literary. I wonder if she’s pretty too. Time to look her up on Facebook.
    • *By all accounts I was a cute little boy. For the first six years of my life I was blond, hardly ever cried or had tantrums, had good manners and was irrepressibly talkative. I was apparently also very bossy and emotionally manipulative, but that’s by the by. At the age of six I discovered lying and from then until about eight or nine (when the other kids finally caught up) I never understood why nearly all of my classmates would own up to doing ‘bad things’, or dutifully go home and tell their mums they’d been punished. “What idiots,” I would think, “don’t they know they can get away with anything if they just keep their mouths shut or invent a story?”
    • The same year, we had a terrible class teacher (who had a nervous breakdown by Christmas and had to leave, not as a result of any of us I might add) followed by a brilliant one (the headmistress of the school). I’m sure we did actual learning too, but my abiding memory is of the headteacher reading us lots of poems by Michael Rosen. They were hilarious for any six year old to listen to, especially when our teacher substituted the characters’ names for kids in the class. If you know any children around that age, make sure they become acquainted with Rosen. If you / they can’t be bothered actually reading something, he performs all his poems on YouTube these days.
    villageofthedamned.jpg

    Me at age six.

    • Also at the age of six, I hospitalised my friend due to an experiment whereby I was trying to see how many pebbles from the sandpit would fit inside his ear. Not that many, it turned out.
    • There was this boy Cameron who had behavioural problems (looking back, possibly ADHD but I had no clue at the time) and whom I loved winding up, to get him into trouble, but also because ‘Cameron wound up’ was a spectacle to behold. Think tantrums that made the classroom look like a bomb had gone off. I especially liked doing this at lunch, because this really fat no-nonsense lunchtime supervisor would go nuts at him for anything, which would trigger him to lose control and run away in a rage. So I goaded him into hitting me, then went and told Mrs Fatty, which I think was her name. Of course, he ran off, so she would then have to chase him through the corridors, breaking objects and hitting students, catch him and physically restrain him on the floor with her flabby bulk while she waited for the teachers to help her. The memories of these ridiculous scenes still bring a smile to my face.
    • There was another boy, Michael, with far more serious problems than Cameron due to a brain defect which made him kind of thick as well as being unable to regulate his emotions at all. Any time a teacher raised her voice to anyone in the class, this would set Michael off crying hysterically. He even cried when his name featured in the Michael Rosen poetry readings. I took him under my wing for several years, treated him as a friend, defended him from any bullying he might have endured, and even comforted him whenever he was in tears (several times a day). He was a curiosity to me, so different, so unfathomable, I was fascinated. But as everyone grew up, Michael sort of didn’t, and by the end of Year 4 (nine years old) he was no longer interesting. The crying was old hat. What’s more, fear and intolerance toward disability (which I didn’t and still don’t share, but it is important to reflect societal norms in your outward behaviour, lest you yourself be an outcast) was turning most of the so-called empathetic children against him, so I let him go.
    • Despite being thin and nerdy for quite a few years, I was never the target of bullying. Or to put it more accurately a succession of would-be bullies tried to target me once and never dared to have a second go. I dragged one of them along the ground through a lot of stinging nettles and pushed him head first into a active fox den. He came out all scratched and a bit chewed. Another ‘slipped’ on a patch of ice at the top of some steps. He walked away with a dislocated shoulder and a weird neck.
    Cute Baby Fox

    Baby Swiper says: “Leave a comment below, or I’ll go through your bins  and find something to blackmail you with.”

     
    • Amaterasu Solar 16:23 on August 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I was one of those kids everyOne picked on. I was nowhere near as assertive and uncaring of what Others think of Me then as I am now. In reading this, My heart went out to the Ones You provoked – a response I suspect You might struggle to identify with… Still, I appreciate Your (apparent) openness about who and what You are. I can also put Myself in Your shoes, as it were.

      Very interesting read.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Anonymous 08:50 on August 31, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Amy. I can identity with your reaction, even if I don’t understand it. James.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Amaterasu Solar 21:59 on September 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          In truth, one of the most difficult things I battled with is accepting the fact that, no matter how much I want to impart a grasp of compassion to psychopaths, I cannot. Almost paradoxical, it is, for it is My compassion which drives My desire to impart… LOL!

          Liked by 1 person

    • James 04:05 on September 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Back as myself. How hard have you tried, Amy? With me, you haven’t done anything to impart a grasp of compassion. Try me.

      Like

      • Amaterasu Solar 11:00 on September 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Dear One, I reach out with My heart – for that is where compassion comes from. It is not in words that I try to impart. If I could touch Your breast, I would give it My best go. But I have tried this before with Others, and They feel nothing of what I give. Still, should any psychopath ask, I will surely try again. But over the web is more of a trick. [smile]

        Liked by 1 person

    • James 12:03 on September 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      There’s a bit of a poet in you, isn’t there? Perhaps to prove your point further, compassion comes from the brain, not the heart. Can you find it in your heart / brain to give details on your past experience?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Amaterasu Solar 08:48 on September 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Many have said I am a poet… I feel the compassion in My heart and My mind then contemplates action… Not much to tell – I had a friend who turned out to be a psychopath. I would try to impart the ability to feel compassion, including through direct contact, but He never caught any of it. Others I have tried at distances, though not as fervently. In none of the cases did My efforts amount to a hill of beans.

        Liked by 1 person

        • James 12:55 on September 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          Did you manage to maintain that friendship for a while? I disagree that there’s not much to tell, I am very interested to know what exactly you tried to do, how he reacted, whether he showed any sin of understanding what you were trying to do, and much more than I can list here. Please, if you can bear to impart more of your poetic wisdom to me, I am sure it would deepen our friendship (or stop me from bugging you, whichever you prefer 😊)

          Liked by 1 person

          • Amaterasu Solar 14:48 on September 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            He was a friend I met up with at a scifi convention years ago. We met at several and He confided to Me His difference. I do not know why He seemingly trusted Me, but He did. I suggested trying some energy workings of sorts. I reached out from My heart. My impressions were that I passed right through Him. I could feel Him there but there was no place to plug into and the energy kept going on.

            He seemed minorly disappointed and soon got bored of the experiments. We moved on.

            Liked by 1 person

            • James 15:13 on September 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              Trustworthiness; must be your face. I’ve got one too. My frank assessment of your attempts would be that your “energy ” doesn’t really exist 😊 You moved on from each other or you moved on to other things to do together? What scifi are you in to?

              Like

              • Amaterasu Solar 10:45 on September 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                Well, interestingly, many non psychopaths I reach out to have showed signs or even said They could feel something, and I don’t get a sense of passing right through, either. But try & convince a psychopath of that… [wink]

                We moved to other topics at the time, and I don’t think We saw each Other after that convention.

                I was very into the hard-core stuff – Heinlein, Asimov, Ellison, Forward, Silverberg, LeGuin, and so many more. Just now I am more fascinated with the scifi story the psychopaths in control are writing and performing in the world around Me.

                Like

                • James 11:35 on September 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                  Well I have an open mind, so I accept there is maybe more to it than I understand, though it sounds a good deal like a “healing through prayer” experience or a ‘psychic’ con.
                  Hmm, that is hard-core, I won’t pretend to know about most of their works in detail. Isn’t the modern-day political story more fantasy than scifi? ☺

                  Like

  • GeneticPsychosMom (Tina) 15:32 on April 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , school,   

    America: Land of the Thief, Home of the Slave |Welcome to the Oligarch Recovery 

    “When they first come in my door in the morning, the first thing I do is an inventory of immediate needs: Did you eat? Are you clean? A big part of my job is making them feel safe,” said Sonya Romero-Smith, a veteran teacher at Lew Wallace Elementary School in Albuquerque. Fourteen of her 18 kindergartners are eligible for free lunches.

    She helps them clean up with bathroom wipes and toothbrushes, and she stocks a drawer with clean socks, underwear, pants and shoes.

    From the Washington Post article: Majority of U.S. Public School Students are in Poverty

    It’s a recovery so lopsided only Timothy Geithner or an oligarch could love it. Since 2008, U.S. economic policy has concentrated on funneling as much money as possible to billionaires, keeping the poor alive and submissive through government programs, and squeezing the middle class to death while at the same time holding out the carrot of hope that things will return to how they were before (they won’t).

    The latest evidence of this monumental cultural theft was highlighted yesterday in the Washington Post. Here are a few excerpts:

    For the first time in at least 50 years, a majority of U.S. public school students come from low-income families, according to a new analysis of 2013 federal data, a statistic that has profound implications for the nation.

    The Southern Education Foundation reports that 51 percent of students in pre-kindergarten through 12th grade in the 2012-2013 school year were eligible for the federal program that provides free and reduced-price lunches. The lunch program is a rough proxy for poverty, but the explosion in the number of needy children in the nation’s public classrooms is a recent phenomenon that has been gaining attention among educators, public officials and researchers.

    A “recent phenomenon.” Call me crazy, but that isn’t what you’d expect five years into a so-called economic recovery.

    “We’ve all known this was the trend, that we would get to a majority, but it’s here sooner rather than later,” said Michael A. Rebell of the Campaign for Educational Equity at Teachers College at Columbia University, noting that the poverty rate has been increasing even as the economy has improved. “A lot of people at the top are doing much better, but the people at the bottom are not doing better at all. Those are the people who have the most children and send their children to public school.”

    Again, this isn’t a economic recovery, it is theft. Until we can admit to ourselves what the idiots and thieves in power have done, nothing will change.

    “When they first come in my door in the morning, the first thing I do is an inventory of immediate needs: Did you eat? Are you clean? A big part of my job is making them feel safe,” said Sonya Romero-Smith, a veteran teacher at Lew Wallace Elementary School in Albuquerque. Fourteen of her 18 kindergartners are eligible for free lunches.

    She helps them clean up with bathroom wipes and toothbrushes, and she stocks a drawer with clean socks, underwear, pants and shoes.

    America: Land of the Thief, Home of the Slave.

    Excerpt from Welcome to the Oligarch Recovery – Majority of Public School Students are in Poverty for First Time in 50 Years by Michael Krieger

     

    Psychopath TEST Politicians

     
    • James 16:04 on April 28, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Fuck the rich.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Amaterasu Solar 22:18 on April 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Or let Us ALL be rich. This planet has plenty and could blossom under sane and not psychopathic care. Presently We have far too much evidence of psychopathic choices being made, from GMO’s loosed without everyOne’s informed consent, all the nanoparticulates of toxic metals along with biologics being sprayed upon Us without that same consent, fake “news” at all times – Baltimore? Give Me a break! – and all the push to stamp down on Humanity.

        So, what if We used the three things We now have that We didn’t ever in history, that make it possible to put down the accounting for Our energy (money system)? (Well, at least the history We are given…) Robotics, the interweb, and free energy. Yes, I know personally that electrogravitics drew energy from the aether along with offering gravity control. It’s been in black projects since the 1950’s. Energy from the aether is clean, free, available anywhere 24/7 energy.

        What stops Us from sharing awareness that We CAN choose to do things a whole lot better than We are doing them now.

        Withdraw consent from systems that promote psychopaths to power.

        How to Withdraw Consent
        http://tapyoureit.boards.net/thread/37/withdraw-consent

        T.A.P. – You’re It!
        http://tapyoureit.boards.net/thread/2/abundance-paradigm-foundational-writings

        On Twitter @AmaterasuSolar

        “Revolution in ideas, not blood.”

        ♥♥♥

        “Did You give an oath and find it’s bait and switch? Well, there is no oath then, is there?”
        “ALL money systems promote the most psychopathic to the top of the money/power heap – THEY will do ANYTHING to get there.”
        “The ONLY tool They use is money, and I say We can put that down and pick up far better tools.”
        “The love of money is the root of all evil; remove the soil in which the root grows…”
        “If the universe is made of mostly “dark” energy…can We use it to run Our cars?”
        “If You want peace, take the PROFIT out of war.”

        Like

  • James 07:31 on April 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , school,   

    A man of wealth and taste 

    This isn’t going to be about anything much, so if you’re somebody who likes meaningful content in their blog posts, just skip this one over. Plenty more good stuff coming soon!

    For those of you who have already read my shitty introduction to the blog (no, not the TV one from last week, the other shitty one), you’ll know that I have identified as a psychopath. I’m gonna say right now that I regret the way that initial conversation with Tina was conducted and especially dislike how quickly it turned disrespectful. That is not at all how I intend to interact with people on here.

    So let’s start over. Hello, my name actually is James, no guessing required. I’m a twentysomething psychopath from the smallish island of Great Britain and I like all kinds of music, philosophy, travel, manipulation, excessive drinking, adrenaline sports, playing mind games, bullying the weak, scaring people in dark alleyways, pushing grannies down the stairs and long walks on the beach. At least one of those interests is a lie, can you guess which? I have a job and a life, but I’m not going to talk about those in this post, if at all.

    A choice memory to share with you all: I was in year 7 or 8 of school, so about 12 or 13 years old. We had a few poor teachers, everyone does I think. There was one who was particularly bad, not at his subject I might add; he was very good at woodwork. You have to be good at a technical subject like that to get a job teaching it. No, his problem was classroom management; he was hopeless. If he told you to do something, you just wouldn’t do it. His classes were always chaotic and dangerous (we had saws and big electronic tools at our disposal). I was – am – the opposite of him: good at managing people, bad at woodwork. I was failing my project and had injured a few people in the process due to my general carelessness around the drills and soldering irons.

    This hack of a teacher could see how bad I was and I knew he was going to fail me the year, but he had a weakness. Everyone does, you see, but his was a fun one. On top of this general incompetence, he had a nasty temper. When he didn’t get his way in controlling the class he would blow a fuse and have a kind of tantrum. He’d shout a lot, go very red and generally look quite ridiculous. And his body language promised the potential for violence, he just hadn’t yet been pushed enough.

    To get rid of him, all I needed to do was to rile him up a bit more. Or rather get the idiots in my class to do it for me. So I told them he had confided to me how much he hated the class and the kids in it and he had plans to fail everyone that year. The genius of the lie that it was probably true (but he of course had said no such thing to me of all people) and just needed someone to point it out to get the kids worked up. I then suggested he should pay for this treachery with a particularly badly behaved class that afternoon, and that was what he got. I can’t remember exactly what happened but I know it started with us refusing to enter the classroom for the first 20 minutes of the lesson and it ended somewhat earlier than normal with the teacher throwing a box of tools at a student’s head before chucking somebody’s wood project out of the window and locking himself in the tech office. He was of course immediately suspended, I got the other kids to play the victim card for the post-breakdown inquiry, some of the girls even agreed to say he had touched them inappropriately, and I didn’t have to finish my stupid woodwork project.

    That wasn’t the only time I drove a teacher from their classroom, but it was the most memorable. I don’t know, it’s probably not an entertaining a story as I find it still to be.

    Anyhoo, you might be wondering quite how I found my way onto this blog, or why I continue to stick around, but frankly I’m none the wiser myself, so there are no answers forthcoming. The fact is that when I sat down to write this, I had no idea I was going to write about my school days; this was very much an improv deal. You can maybe surmise that I enjoy writing and want to transmit a few ideas with others that aren’t so easy to talk about in everyday life. If so, then I think you are probably right. Perhaps you suspect that I might be more than a little narcissistic and like the attention that comes from publishing online. That’s a safe bet too. Or maybe you just don’t care one jot. That’s okay too, it’s a free country. And it’s something I can relate to, so there’s that.

     
    • idodoyouride 09:51 on April 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      i had a history teacher like this, he couldnt control anyone we would sit in the back of his class and smoke pot, lol, he would get so irate and frustrated he stepped in the garbage can one day and got his foot caught , he went crazy and finally fell over almost crying. it was funny back then not so much now that i think about it. so are you a diagnosed psychopath????

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 12:03 on April 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I would never put myself in a position where I could be diagnosed with anything. Even when I was 13 I had a strong sense of self-preservation; you notice I got the other kids to actually kick off, so if the plan backfired, they’d be blamed rather than me. They weren’t my friends, just people I was using to get the teacher fired.

        Lol, your story’s funnier than mine.

        Liked by 1 person

        • idodoyouride 12:50 on April 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          Yes I gotta say it was hysterical at the time Lol but so not who I am today! Thanks for answering my question hun.

          Like

          • James 13:38 on April 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            Anytime, hun. I’m very keen to have an open dialogue with the other authors and visitors here.

            Liked by 1 person

    • Amaterasu Solar 20:55 on April 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I am curious, James, how You approach Ethics. Do You understand Ethics at all? Do You knowingly choose unEthical behavior? Or could You constrain Yourself to Ethics? This is an important question I have about psychopaths when considering a system that does not cater to psychopaths like all money/top-down government systems do.

      I would like to discover whether psychopaths can choose to remain within Ethical bounds.

      Like

      • James 12:53 on April 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Interesting question, sir. Ethics are actually among my keenest academic interests, and as such I don’t believe morality exists. This being said, “choosing unethical behaviour” vs “constraining myself to ethics” doesn’t really make much sense as a decision. If you would like me to have a stab at answering the question, you’d better define what those terms mean.

        The moral philosophy which makes the most logical sense to me is utilitarianism, because since ethics aren’t real, they might as well work to the benefit of the majority.

        To briefly touch on your last sentence, I do certainly think it is possible to motivate psychopaths to behave the way you want them to, as long as you make the desired behaviour attractive to them.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Amaterasu Solar 13:42 on April 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I beg to differ on the statement that Ethics “aren’t real…” [smile] If there was no Ethical seed parameter within Human society, society would not function and would never have developed. There are only three Laws in Ethics:

          1. Do not willfully hurt or kill anOther against Their fully informed consent
          2. Do not willfully take or damage anOther’s property
          3. Do not willfully defraud anOther

          Were most of Us to have ignored these, We would not have developed any society at all.

          I do make a distinction between morals and Ethics. Though most morals include the ideas in the Laws of Ethics, morals come often with baggage. In some places it’s VERY immoral for a woman to wear a bikini in public; other places not so much. Either way, there is nothing unEthical about doing so.

          Choosing unEthical behavior means choosing to do something that breaks the three Laws, and constraining Oneself to Ethics means choosing NOT to break the three Laws.

          As for making these Laws “attractive…” I am unsure how that would be done. Either a Person has the integrity to remain within these Laws or not. So maybe the question would be best asked, can a psychopath have integrity?

          Like

          • James 14:21 on April 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            Those laws are of your own creation aren’t they? Meaning it is you who have decided that these and only these three behaviours are so ethically offensive that they against the universal law. Very bold to assert your own preferences as absolute truth, but I like it 😉

            The existence of laws requires a lawmaker. The existence of absolute laws requires a supreme lawmaker. I reject the notion that this supreme lawmaker exists therefore I reject the legitimacy of your laws. Once your laws are rejected by an individual, they can hold no power over him.

            Besides, if there are only three laws, then which law defines or even creates property ownership in the first place? The definition of property cannot just be “that which it is against the law to take or damage”. When a law is broken, which law allows the ethical community to take action against the perpetrator?

            Your distinction between morals and ethics is a reasonable one, but again not one which is shared by everyone. Unless you claim to speaking on behalf of a higher authority (and I have already denied the existence of such an authority), I don’t see why your personal take on ethics / morality should hold any greater sway than anyone else’s. More particularly, why should your list of laws hold universal precedence over the Ten Commandments, or over Shariah law, or over Kantian Ethics or over any other system of ethical laws that have been devised by humankind?

            “I am unsure how that would be done.” Simple carrot and stick method, with much greater emphasis on the carrot than the stick because psychopaths are motivated by reward rather than punishment. If by “having integrity” you mean something like “wanting to be ethical for the ‘right reasons’ (for the sake of being ethical; to be ‘good’), rather than for selfish reasons, the answer would clearly be “no”. But motivation which appeals to self-betterment should have just as much success with psychopaths as appeal to conscience would with non-psychopaths. That is to say, not complete success with all individuals, but enough success with enough individuals to make the endeavour worthwhile.

            Even though I categorically disagree with you, I’d like to nonetheless thank you for stopping by to comment and more particularly for speaking to me in a language I appreciate (that of logic rather than emotion). Feel free to rebuke me, though I may not reply immediately if at all.

            Liked by 1 person

        • Amaterasu Solar 15:03 on April 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          Actually, no. These three Laws are ancient. I merely copied them. They are required as rule in society, because, as I said, without these, society would not function, having nothing to do with Gods, or “law-makers.” If We all broke the Laws willy nilly there would be no society.

          What “carrot,” eh?

          What would I “rebuke” You for? You are giving Me a good idea of Yur perspective, and for that alone I thank You. [smile]

          Like

    • beautifulyule 12:47 on April 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Typical, psychopaths don’t respond when they get bored of societal ethics. I suspect that there are more psychopaths in the UK than any other place in the world. Probably due to an instinctual limbic brain overdrive due to lack of resources…whether perceived real or imaginary. Not expecting a response but out of curiosity what kinds of individuals do you enjoy toying with? Or shall I suggest what do psychopaths look for in targets for their amusement/boredom?

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 15:22 on April 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I told him I might not respond, so it wasn’t as though it came out of the blue. I’d said what I wanted, and that’s all anyone can expect from me. Are you British then, or just trying to get a rise out of me by clinging to something which might have me affronted? 🙂

        I will answer your question, but not right away as I think it would make a good blog post. So neato idea, cheers.

        Like

        • James 15:25 on April 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          Oh and just so you and everyone else knows, I resolve and promise to reply to everyone who leaves a comment at least once, as long as they’re not completely retarded.

          Like

      • James 14:34 on April 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Oh the irony. You haven’t replied.

        Like

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