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  • James 13:53 on June 1, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: death, heaven, immortality, killing, omnipotence, poem, , , , , , through the eyes of a sociopath   

    Psychopath’s Heaven – a poem 

    Image result for all-powerful

    Power.
    Power.
    Power.
    How I crave after it. How I desire it. How I lust for it.
    Power over what?
    Power over something.
    Power over anything.
    Power over EVERYTHING.
    The power over life and death, to be able too look into the eyes of a man, look into them. And take life from them. To see it leave their eyes. The light in their eyes, I want the power to turn their eyes dark.
    I want to be invincible. To stare at death in the face, and laugh.
    I want to be immortal. To live for eons on end, never aging, never weakening. Only gaining power
    The power of destruction. To destroy entire cities with a thought. To hold countries ransom to my whims.
    Pure power.
    No responsibility.
    Absolute. Power

    © Wajahat Mahmood, 2015. See the original post here.

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    • Kim Kabar 18:11 on June 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Dominate.
      Last two lost.
      Tsk. Tsk.
      One is in jail
      The other is dead.
      No pity from me.
      Do you play chess?
      The last one asked.
      No, I replied.
      My bad. I failed to clarify.
      Board chess or life chess.
      The later, I will win.
      Pity, pity.
      They picked wrong woman.

      Liked by 1 person

  • James 18:00 on April 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , death, dreams, , fun, hallucination, , , questions,   

    Do psychopaths dream? 

    Scary Painting

    Sweet dreams

    It is a question that is often posed by the victims of psychopaths, by people who have known them, and just by the curious. In fact, when you type “do psychopaths” into Google, the search suggestions are as follows:

    1. do psychopaths cry?
    2. do psychopaths feel fear?
    3. do psychopaths yawn?
    4. do psychopaths love?
    5. do psychopaths dream?

    The first four are boring questions, and very easy to answer by anyone who ever gave them any thought:

    1. Rarely
    2. Yes, but hardly. Fearlessness is one of the main criteria in the PCL-R
    3. You might as well ask, “do psychopaths need to breathe?” Yes, we yawn when we’re tired, just like you!
    4. Nah

    But the fifth question is interesting. Its answer isn’t immediately obvious a priori and it tries to delve into the inner worlds of psychopaths in a clever way. What’s more, it’s one question to which, despite its popularity among inquisitive souls, is difficult to find a satisfactory answer, amid tedious conversations that go nowhere, and threads where everyone says equally plausible but mutually contradictory things.

    Well look no further, because I am a psychopath, and I can confirm that yes, I dream. I don’t dream very often (or at least I don’t often remember my dreams), in fact more often than not I have the stereotypical “death sleep” of a vampire, unburdened by thoughts and concerns from the day. I don’t have sleepless or disturbed nights because of stress, and I don’t lie awake mulling over ‘bad’ things I’ve done. But I do, on occasion, dream. My dreams tend to be fairly weird, though nothing so surreal as to inspire artwork.

    One recent dream I had, there was a bird trapped inside my room, beating its wings pointlessly against the closed window. As I walked over to open the window and free it, it seemed to panic and fly at me, so I hit it to stop it pecking me and it fell to the floor, dead. A couple of nights ago, I dreamt the house next door was on fire. The family that lives there has three children and two dogs, and they were also trapped upstairs (noticing a pattern yet?) I dialled for the emergency services, but when the fire brigade arrived, they had brought the police and accused me of setting the fire, which as far as I can recall, I hadn’t. In both dreams, I tried to do the decent thing, but the other ‘characters’ in the dream had other ideas and did their best to throw my help back in my face. I’m not really into dream interpretation, but if anyone wants to have a go at figuring these ones out, be my guest.

    Most commonly, I’m not even in my own dreams. Or rather, I’m like a static observer or an omniscient narrator, and the other people in the dream are acting out a story in front of me. Usually they’re not people that I know in real life, just ‘characters’ that inhabit the dream world. Sometimes I can go in and out of different people and take control of them for a while, make them do what I want to do, see the dream from their perspective, and then fly out and go back to watching again. These dreams tend to be violent, and seem to be set predominantly in horror movies or wars, but there’s not really any emotional content to them or consequences for being in them. Like I said, I’m more of a bystander watching things happen. Even when I ‘take over’ the characters, what happens to them doesn’t really end up affecting me. If the person I’m inhabiting gets hacked to death, then I just fly out of them and look down on their mutilated corpse with detached interest.

    Scary Painting

    are made of this

    Very occasionally I dream of people close to me dying. In real life, this sort of event doesn’t cause much emotion in me. If I liked the person, I am sorry they’re no longer around for me to enjoy them, but the idea of crying about it is utterly foreign. However, in these dreams, I’m very upset, grief-stricken even, in a way I have never been in my waking life. I seem to imagine myself as an ordinary, empathetic person, crying about the death of someone I love, just like I’ve seen other people be around death, and being really cut up about their loss. Unlike the previous two types of dream, these are closer to what I would think of as a nightmare, in that they’re actually unpleasant to experience. I don’t enjoy feeling those emotions, or at least dreaming that I am feeling them, and I especially don’t enjoy losing control of myself. Then, when I wake up, I’m back to normal. My pillow is sometimes wet; whether with tears or sweat, I don’t know. But I just think “huh, that was weird”, and go about my day.

     

    I have no idea if these dreams bear any resemblance to the sorts of dreams other people have. I’d be interested to hear from you.

    Art credit goes to the extremely creative, extremely talented and extremely dead Zdzisław Beksiński.

    I wonder if he’s living his dreams now?

     
    • nowve666 18:37 on April 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      When I was a child, I had repetitive dreams. I had dreams of exploring. I dreamed I was on a beach. My favorite dream was I am on a beach and a giant tidal wave comes over the entire beach. There is no way to avoid it. I am swept out to sea. But I can breath under water.

      We spent a summer on a farm and there was a cross rooster who scared all the kids. One night, I dreamed I loved the rooster. After that, I wasn’t afraid of him but that same day, they slaughtered him. I cried and cried and swore I would never stop crying. However, later, they served him for dinner and I ate him. He was delicious.

      One more childhood dream. I dreamed I turned into a monster. I got very tall, I was all the way up to the ceiling. I knew if my parents saw me, they would know I was a monster and destroy me so I knew I had to kill them. The dream didn’t go any further however.

      As an adult, Vicki and I like to watch our favorite movies on our DVD player. I often fall asleep. I watch the DVD from my bed. I enjoy the kind of twilight state of sleeping and intermittently waking to see the screen. I almost always think I’m seeing the window at first. Then I realize it’s the TV. The movie and the dream kind of merge.

      As far as emotions in dreams go, I experienced a lot of euphoria, especially when dreaming of the beach. When I was in the nut house, I had a scary dream about a nurse who worked there. In my dream, she was evil and powerful. After I woke up, I still felt creepy about her until I talked to my shrink and we worked out the dream was about feeling unable to communicate. After that, she didn’t bother me.

      Oh! And I had a dream after I saw The Exorcist. That is the only movie that ever scared me. In the dream, In saw Regan’s head twisting around like it did in the movie and she had a really evil look on her face. Then I realized I can witness evil without being consumed by it and my fear went away both in the dream and in real life related to the movie.

      Like

      • James 19:00 on April 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        You have a better memory for dreams than me. There’s no way I could remember such details from dreams years and years ago. Your subconscious is clearly more creative than mine. Interesting that you have had “scary dreams”. I don’t think I’ve ever been scared by a dream.

        Some pisshead just tried to scare me (in real life) by shouting “ALRIGHT, MATE!” at the top of his voice. He and his friend were drinking behind a tree in the shadows, so I hadn’t seen them, but I don’t jump or have any sort of fight / fight response, so I just called back “I’m great. How’s it going with you?” They were drunk enough to just laugh, so I left them to it.

        Like

    • 1jaded1 23:48 on April 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Hi James. This is most interesting. The responses to the first 4 questions made me laugh. The response to the 5th…idk and am not a psychologist…iatrist…analyst or anything. Sounds like a battle though. Wanting to help and being pecked…Feeling upset in a dream where you wouldn’t be upset if you were awake.

      Since you asked….and not that you may care other than amusement.

      My dreams consist of paranormal. Entities want to eat me. They would starve bc I lost my soul at a very early age. Some want to protect.

      This week has been a cluster fk of nightmares. Tuesday, I dreamt that a lady wanted to kill me bc it should have been me. When I was allowed to make sense , I should have had my face peeled off at the pinball machine. I elected to use the washroom. Total made up dream. I didn’t see anyone’s face peeled off. Maybe a narcissist mask. Maybe I am one.

      The side by sides last night revolved around calls to 911. The leaser of the traumatic had the operator wanting me to verify my date of birth and a newspaper article on the date of me calling… My co-worker passed our.. I asked wtf any purpose that had.

      The more disturbing one had my ex who has NPD beating my parents to a pulp. My sister and I called 911 for2 assaults, but they only sent one ambulance. My dad (who is already deceased) told me he was dying and to have the amby take my mom. Then he died in front of me. I woke up traumatised and called my mom. Lol. It is still sticking hence my response. Subconscious is my ex wants to get back into my life and take agression out on family? Who knows? So disturbing . i want nothing more to do with him.

      Thank you for your post. TMI in my response? Okay. Question was asked..

      Like

      • James 11:06 on April 29, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you for reading and for your comment. I wonder, do you feel at all better for having written all that? I got a certain cathartic pleasure from writing my dreams out, though yours seem to be more closely connected to the real world and your fears about things going wrong. Have you any reason to think your ex may be trying to get back into your life?

        Liked by 1 person

    • 1jaded1 20:28 on April 29, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      You are welcome. It sometimes helps to release the dreams through writing. My ex is trying to contact me and I am ignoring him.

      Like

  • James 20:25 on March 23, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , death, , , panic,   

    Ooh, terrorism, everyone panic! 

    Yesterday, there was a terror attack in my capital city.

    Let’s face it, only five people were killed. Okay, that’s slightly unusual in the UK, and in Europe, because the gun laws are more sensible here, so mass killings tend to be due to terrorism rather than local nutters playing around with firearms. All the same, 5 individuals out of 8 million (London’s population) is not really very many, is it? Far more Londoners die of natural causes every day.

    And yet, it’s still the top news story here. It accompanies the story of a tighter restriction of electronics (including laptops) entering the UK and USA on flights operated by certain Middle Eastern airlines. The timing is a bit suspect, isn’t it?

    If this seems a callous reaction to the ‘terror’, I apologise, but however you look at it, 5 deaths are negligible in the grand scheme of things (i.e. they fit well within the average daily mortality figures), and utterly disproportionate to the news coverage afforded to them. You might as well just turn international news into one long eulogy, if you’re going to mourn every death that happens in a city the size of London.

    My recommendation to Londoners, Britons and brothers and sisters around the world: get a grip. Ignore these feeble attempts at ‘terror’, and ignore the alarmist news stories that surround the acts and usher in ever more draconian ‘security’ measures. Get a grip on reality, and keep calm and carry on.

    Update: 24th March 16:40: Last week, the US Air Force accidentally destroyed a mosque in Syria. The target was apparently the building next door (funny how these laser-guided strikes never quite seem to get it right, when Google Earth can find an address anywhere in the world in seconds), but the Pentagon still claimed it managed to kill ‘dozens’ of Al-Qaeda members. Rather lucky for a bungled mission, don’t you think? Meanwhile, at least 45 worshippers were killed and around 100 others left injured, according to the London-based Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. If you want to see real terror, that’s what it looks like.

     
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