Updates from November, 2015 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Amaterasu Solar 13:39 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply  

    Hmmmm, Seems I cannot reply to James’ article, “Doing something nice for no reason.” The option is there for other recent articles, but not that one. My response is this:

    There is little I can do to help Others at present – I rarely see People, being stuck in a cabin in the woods with no money or car – but daily I tweet the plight of Those who have mentioned having a plight. Try to get donations or investors for Them. And when I had money (and a car), I used to carry bags of rice to give to People with “Will work for food” signs (most seemed extremely grateful when I would give it to Them). I helped friends get things They needed, called emergency for People, helped cover legal costs, and any other thing that came along that I could help with.

    Now I need the help and far too little is forthcoming. Meh. Eating oatmeal and chia seeds at the end of the food stamp month because I have nothing left other than that will keep Me from literal starvation. At least I am not experiencing THAT!

     
    • James 13:52 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry about that, it’s not my doing and not aimed at you. The comments are frequently turned off for my posts it seems. Probably a conspiracy!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Amaterasu Solar 13:54 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Not a problem, James. Though I doubt “conspiracy” in this case. LOL!

        Liked by 1 person

        • James 13:55 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          Someone’s definitely got it in for me!

          Glad we are still on speaking term, dear One.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Amaterasu Solar 13:59 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

            LOL! I hold no animosity, dear One. I am all too used to dealing with Those who, though history is replete with conspiracy, refuse to accept it as the order of the day today. (The psyops, sloppy psyops!, that are given as “truth” – Sandy Hook, etc. – should be a clue about conspiracy…) So I just let it flow. [smile]

            Liked by 2 people

            • James 14:01 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              OK. Are you retired or unemployed? What happened to your pension if the former?

              Like

            • James 14:48 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

              I could have sworn I left you a reply, asking about your employment / pension status.

              Like

              • James 14:57 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                Basically, are you unemployed or retired? Do you have a pension to fall back on? Is it any of my business? etc etc

                Like

                • Amaterasu Solar 17:21 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                  Was laid off close to 10 years ago, went through savings/”retirement” money, still a little bit too young to collect SS, battling to get disability (rheumatological condition, Lyme), wound up homeless for a while, friend who, though He struggles Himself, rescued Me and pays My rent/util on the cheapest place in the area (16’x16′ cabin w/hot plate, toaster oven & fridge for “kitchen”), and in that nearly 10 years I have applied to over 100,000 jobs. Had a number of interviews and most seemed to go very well – but then I have been ignored on inquiry, told jobs are filled but then they are newly posted on the same site I found them on the next day, told that “the job description changed and You don’t qualify,” and other weirdnesses. Given the statistics and weirdness, I strongly suspect that I am a targeted Individual…

                  I get $194 a month in food stamps and, except in the months I have received $50 (or $20) in donation to My work – which are rare – I end each month often on only chia seeds to eat.

                  Thus is My situation.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • James 22:20 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

                    Shit. America needs the welfare state, but you never will because it somehow compromises your ‘freedom’ (to be practically destitute because you’re disabled, what a glorious freedom)

                    Liked by 1 person

      • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) 17:42 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        It should be under your control. The checkboxes need to be checked for “Allow comments” when you create your article.

        Liked by 2 people

        • James 22:18 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

          I don’t have that box. Remember, you’re the admin, it’s you who publishes everything, so it’s you who gets to decide about comments. If you want to hand over more responsibility, then fine, if not you’ve got to do your job properly.

          Liked by 1 person

  • James 10:34 on November 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , daily good deed, , , , I was listening to 'Hungry Like The Wolf' by Duran Duran when writing this, intuition, kindness, , , , nihilism, , , , selflessness,   

    Doing something nice for no reason 

    Three times this week I have done good deeds for strangers. I’m not bragging or looking for praise; none were exceptionally kind or selfless, indeed each time the cost to me was minimal. But all three improved the lives of the three strangers in some way or other.

    1. I was approached by a homeless person begging for money. He claimed to need £40 for cheap hostel accommodation for the night and told me a story about how due to mental illness, the council had evicted him from social housing. It wasn’t a very likely story, as such an eviction on those grounds would be illegal pretty much anywhere, and I am the last person to be moved by another man’s tedious sob story. But the man clearly needed the money more than me. He may have been too proud to say what he actually needed was food (he certainly looked half starved). Even if he just wanted drugs or alcohol, who am I to say he can’t
      get what he wants just because he’s poor? So I gave him £5, and told him he just needed to approach seven more people and he’d have his £40 target.
    2. I was walking through a dodgy part of town late afternoon on Hallowe’en when I heard someone shouting for help. At first, I thought it was probably a Hallowe’en prank. But, I couldn’t see where the noise was coming from so I was intrigued. I heard it again, more frantic than before, and pinpointed the cry to one of five ground floor windows on a block of flats (the Britishisms are strong in this one!). Figuring it must be the one open window, I climbed up the fence to see in properly and sure enough, there was a young man lying on his bed in a filthy hovel of a room shouting “help!”. I asked him if he wanted the police and he managed to slur out “ambulansss”. He’d clearly overdosed on something or other, as he wouldn’t respond to any of my other questions except to shout “HELP!” again as though nobody was there. So, I phoned the ambulance, having to explain where I was even though I didn’t know the name of the street or the house number. Fortunately a neighbour had been drawn by the noise and was able to give me those details and the paramedic arrived about three minutes later. By this time, the man had vomited all over his bed and had stopped speaking or moving. The paramedic arrived, amusingly bungled his attempt to climb the wall as I had done and decided to go round the front. At that point I went on my way.
    3. On a busy street in the centre of town, I saw an old man looking slightly bewildered and confused. I see people like that all the time, my senses home in on them. This one was trying – and failing – to hail a taxi. I approached him and offered to get a taxi for him. I had the app on my phone and knew that they typically arrived in the same amount of time as the ambulance in the second story. On this occasion, the man politely refused my help and said he was just going round the corner anyway and could possibly get the bus instead. “Well the buses sure are cheaper” I told him “In fact they’re free for senior citizens”. “Are they now?” the old man asked, practically licking his lips at the prospect of a free ride “thanks for your help, kiddo”.

    All three of these are minor good deeds at most. I don’t really feel anything, nor do I think of moral considerations when doing them. If I were to try to justify them, I would say that being able to respond to human need and improve someone else’s day with little or no real effort or sacrifice on my part is a logical win win, but in the moment I don’t even think of this. In truth, I did them for no reason at all.

    I wonder how many of you empathically gifted people can truthfully say you’ve done something nice for a stranger in the past week, something that has gone beyond everyday politeness that is. I am not judging – the number may be high, it may be low, but what I am saying is when the so-called “worst” of humanity are capable of helping a stranger for no reward, then surely we all are. If it’s been a while since you helped anyone, why not give it a try this week? Why not do something nice for no reason at all?

     
    • Anonymous 16:17 on November 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      James, let’s not forget that psychopaths are also narcissists so this makes sense. You have a superior sense of self that is being served in doing these things. Normal people do these things everyday out of the goodness if their heart and don’t feel the need to brag about it on the internet. Now let’s see you be a true hero and sacrifice your own well-being for another. That would be true altruism which I’m certain you’re incapable of.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 17:17 on November 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Already said I wasn’t bragging, nor am I saying that doing these things makes me better or superior than others. However, I would agree with your last sentence, with one caveat. True altruism doesn’t exist. Empathetic people enjoy doing nice things for others, so their ‘selfish’ reward is feeling good for helping.

        Like

    • Tj 19:08 on November 18, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      My concern is that you, lacking moral compass, instinctively helped three psychopaths. I agree with Anonymous. You should sacrifice yourself.

      Like

      • James 20:04 on November 18, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Possibly 🙂 But I don’t favour psychopaths over anybody else.

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      • James 20:05 on November 18, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        And would it be a problem if I did help psychopaths?

        Like

    • prettyvacantx 19:08 on December 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know how I got here and now I’m scared..

      Liked by 1 person

    • prettyvacantx 11:41 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Do you mind me asking you questions about psychopathy? 🙂 (this blog has made me very curious)

      Like

      • James 11:57 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Sure, you can ask. I might not answer though.

        Like

    • prettyvacantx 12:10 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Are psychopaths born or made and how do they differ from sociopaths?

      Like

      • James 12:18 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I need to set up an FAQs, that’s one that gets asked a lot. The short, but honest, answer is nobody knows what causes psychopathy and there is no consensus on where sociopaths fit in to the whole thing.

        Liked by 1 person

    • prettyvacantx 12:28 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Okay thank you 🙂 I have a friend who I think could be a psychopath and I’m unsure of what I should do, do you have any general advice?

      Like

      • James 12:37 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        No, not really. Why do you have to do anything?

        Just treat him or her like a human being. If they haven’t given you any reason to be suspicious or doubt your friendship, then there’s nothing stopping you from enjoying each other’s company. Bear in mind most people would advise you to run a mile (and I think I know one person who might come on here with a much harder line than me), but when you start to treat people differently based on what you think you know about them, that’s when the problems start.

        I am happy to offer more specific advice based on an actual question, if you want to pose one. For example, why do you think your friend is a psychopath?

        🙂

        Like

    • prettyvacantx 13:05 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      It’s a hard situation to explain. If she had done nothing then I wouldn’t be here. But she’s been acting different lately, when we originally started becoming friends she was overly nice, excessively so. I didn’t think much of it but then when we became proper friends she started to be more controlling(telling me who I could and could not talk to) and bad tempered, I was constantly walking on egg shells. She criticized every single thing I did and ridiculed my opinions if they didn’t match hers. I’m naive and young and dismissed it as her being stressed but it just continued to get worse. She purposely centered our entire friend group around her and would create tension between all of us so we didn’t feel like we could trust anyone but her (she had no motive that I could find). I became increasingly distraught by this and decided to talk to people that used to be her friends. They all said the exact same thing happened with them, that she got herself into their group, completely annihilated their friendships and then dropped them and moved on. She’s been in a new group every year for the past 6 years. She found out that I had been talking about her behind her back to these “ex friends” and got really angry about it but did nothing but ignore me. She’s been ignoring me for awhile until this week and is now back to acting worryingly nice. I’m scared that she’s going to do something. (I’m so sorry for how long this is!)

      Like

      • James 14:10 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Right, see that is what you should have written in the first place. Answer on its way.

        Like

      • James 14:23 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I think we’re actually the same age, more or less, so I’m not really the wise sage you might be looking for.

        Well, since I am self-interested, when someone in my friendship group is causing problems for me, I cut them out. There is no need for people who drag you down. She’s pretty obviously manipulating you, perhaps just for pleasure, and has plainly had a lot of practice and doing so. So why not follow the lead of 6 years’ worth of friends and dump her? Easier said than done, you might say, well I say just do it.

        Don’t enact revenge, stop talking about her behind her back, don’t even mention her. Just move on, and she will more than likely do the same, like she’s done before. If you mark yourself out by standing up for yourself or even worse by causing problems for her, you can expect some kind of retribution. And, be boring. Psychopaths hate boredom so if you’re not interesting them, they will move on. Understandably for you that will be hard, but do your best 🙂

        Importantly, don’t think we’re all like that. Some of us are more than capable of holding friends and relationships down for years and feel fulfilled and engaged without allowing people to catch on that there’s anything ‘wrong’ with us. I won’t deny that I use people entirely for my benefit, but I do it in such a way that they like me and want to hang out with me. No point causing pain and pushing useful people away, is there? One day, your friend might learn that, or she might not. So be open-minded about future encounters; we’re more common than you think.

        Liked by 1 person

    • prettyvacantx 14:48 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Yeah that’s what most people have been saying. But she’s tricky to let go of, she’s literally everywhere I go. I don’t think she enjoys being ignored. It doesn’t help that I took lots of her friends with me I guess. thanks anyway for the advice!

      Liked by 1 person

      • James 14:54 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        She’ll get over it. Just hold your nerve. Don’t react.

        Liked by 1 person

    • prettyvacantx 15:08 on December 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      It’s nearly impossible not to react, she’s good at riling people up. I’ll try though, I just hope I can be done with her forever after this. I’m still not entirely sure if she’s a psychopath or not but I only have one other experience to compare it to so I’m working on practically nothing :/

      Like

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